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Elon Musk Refuses To Let Brett Kavanaugh Have All The Fun Today

No one comes between Elon and a hot news cycle.

Whoooooooah Nelly!

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The Securities and Exchange Commission has opened a case against Tesla Inc. Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk, according to a docket entry in Manhattan federal court, Bloomberg News reports.

With all eyes turned on DC and the bumblefuck American nightmare going on down there, Elon gets sued by the SEC in NYC. What an attention whore.

Never tweet, kids. Just keep a weird and creepy calendar of what you and all your friends are up to on a daily basis.

Elon Musk Is Sued by Securities and Exchange Commission: Docket [Bloomberg]

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If you want to keep your ex-girlfriend out of a legal situation, make your lawyer file a motion all about your ex-girlfriend.

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Tesla Is Looking To Hire A Work Daddy For Elon Musk

Leveraging your professional legacy on the possibility that you can tame a maniac and make a billion dollars?... There's only one man for this job.

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Elon Musk Is Teaching His Children To Hate Jim Chanos

When Elon isn't being so emo over being single, he's preparing his progeny for war with Tesla's haters.

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If you read closely, you can see where the ayahuasca Elon drank before the earnings call kicks in during the Q&A.

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Elon Musk Admits To Being Lame At Orgies

"When's Elon gonna shut up about The Singularity and plow someone?" thought all the VCs, standing there naked from the fleece vest down.

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Elon Musk Is Clearly Still Struggling With His Addiction To Doing Bad Tweets

The Tesla board can only help someone if he wants to help himself.