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Gary Cohn Publicly Embraces The #DraftDimon Movement While Simultaneously Demonstrating Why He's Not Invited

It's called, subtlety, Big Grundle.

Former Goldman Sachs president, senior White House economic advisor and future cannabis fund manager Gary Cohn gave a lengthy interview to Reuters yesterday and, whoa Nelly, did he "go there" on a plethora of hot topics...

Gary Cohn Wanderer

Gary Cohn, the former economic adviser to U.S. President Donald Trump, gave a ringing endorsement of Wall Street bankers on Monday, arguing that borrowers were just as responsible for the 2007-2009 financial crisis as lenders and ridiculing rules intended to make the system stronger in its aftermath.

Oh, that's just the outline. Here's the color...

Defending his fellow bankers, who are often blamed for causing and worsening the crisis, Cohn said borrowers played a hand in their financial disasters as well.
“Who broke the law? I just want to know who you think broke the law,” said Cohn. “Was the waitress in Las Vegas who had six houses leveraged at 100 percent with no income, was she reckless and stupid? Or was the banker reckless and stupid?”

While it's clear that Gary Cohn has somehow never heard the name "Angelo Mozilo" and that no one in the room coughed that name in the short awkward silence that followed Gary's little outburst [there 's video], he apparently has total recall of a few other names from that dark period...

Cohn also mentioned former Lehman Chief Executive Dick Fuld who lost a big chunk of his net worth when his company filed for bankruptcy. “Who was Dick Fuld defrauding? Himself?”

We're not saying that Gary has been forever emotionally scarred by his time in the Trump White House, but we are saying that he just did a "Poor Dickie Fuld" routine in a room full of cameras and hot mics. And there was another name from 2008 that popped up in the course of the conversation...

He also praised JPMorgan Chase & Co’s Chief Executive Jamie Dimon, who last week made waves by saying that he could beat Trump in an election. Calling Dimon a “phenomenal” choice, Cohn said, “Jamie would be a spectacular president... After having seen the inside of the Oval Office and worked inside there for hours upon hours a day, it’s in many respects very similar to running a complex multi-national global (company).”

Firstly, thanks to Gary for embracing the #DraftDimon movement, grasping the tenets of our belief and throwing grundle subtle shade at his most recent boss. Nice job there, Lurch.

Secondly, you said the quiet part out loud, Gary. When you bloviate about innocent bankers and try to retroactively martyr Dick Fuld, we already know that you're a Jamie Dimon voter. How about trying to touch on these narratives in separate appearances, you clod. Fucking A, Gary, this is why we don't invite you to the secret meetings.

'Who broke the law?' Cohn says in defending Wall Street's role in crisis [Reuters]


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