Imagine being the CEO of a globally-relevant soccer club so intrinsically lame and mediocre that you'd rather go work for the most terrifying man in finance.
Welcome to the world of Ivan Gazidis...
The chief executive of English Premier League football club Arsenal has quit for rival AC Milan, months after Elliott Management, the hedge fund founded by US billionaire Paul Singer, seized control of the club.
Ivan Gazidis will step down as CEO and resign as a director after a decade at the north London club, with effect from the end of October.
But this actually makes sense to us.
On the one hand, Gazidis is leaving the world's most visible league to work at a club pulling itself out of a confounding debt crisis, is currently sitting 13 out of 20 in the Italian Serie A [a division that is now dominated by a Christiano Ronaldo-led Juventus], and toiling in the hellish reality of Europa League play. All that under the new ownership of a man who has a difficult time not getting exactly what he wants and who has also committed to running the club as a profitable business meaning that purse strings might be taut for time to come, creating an ineffable sense of pre-failure. Even the statement announcing Gazidis' arrival is tinged with Singerian threat...
"Ivan Gazidis is a widely respected, highly talented chief executive, and one we expect can lead the club to realise its full potential.
Together with Elliott’s continued focus on financial stability and proper oversight, we look forward to on-field success and a world-class fan experience."
We actually rank "Running a rebuilding soccer club for Paul Singer" somewhere between "Brian Moynihan's shrink" and "Hank Greenberg's cat nanny" on the "Dealbreaker Worst 100 Jobs in Finance"™ list for 2018.
But, on the other hand, you could work at Arsenal.
Good call, Ivan Gazidis. Best of luck in your new role.