Baby's First Bankruptcy: RobinHood Users Are Suddenly Crazy For Sears Stock

Umm, hi fellow kids...you're buying Sears.
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Well, this is fucking adorable.

According to RobinTrack.net, a site specializing in trends on everyone's favorite Millennial trading app RobinHood, all the most annoying young capitalists you know are experimenting with their first bankruptcy.

Interest in SHLD is up about 7.5% on RobinHood today, with all the kids looking at the slowest-moving car crash in American financial history, unraveling the gothically tangled web that CEO Eddie Lampert has woven around the company via his own hedge fund, bought into the notion that it can be chopped up and bled for a few more shekels, and then clicked "buy" on their smartphones.

Look:

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 1.29.35 PM

Now, we're not that clued-in to what Sears Holdings is thinking here, and we're just a bunch of middle-aged hacks without online trading accounts who see finance as governed by logic, so bear with us on a counterargument here:

Sears' biggest creditor is its own CEO, and it's Eddie Lampert, so we're going to go ahead and assume that he pays himself back before he lets shareholders see a fucking cent. And while we understand that the company is sitting on a pretty sweet real estate portfolio and that Lampert is dangling a $300M loan to make people think that this whole thing can be saved, but there's also this amazing tidbit out there from CNBC:

In a Tuesday morning town hall, former Sears CEO Eddie Lampert gave 1,000 of his employees a rallying cry as the company gears up for its most important holiday season.
"We need to show material progress over the next few months to establish to our senior lenders that a reorganization of the company is realistic and to avoid a shut down and liquidation," Lampert said at the retailer's headquarters in Hoffman Estates, Illinois, according an exclusive transcript obtained by CNBC.

There's always a lot of crazy shit when big things happen to big companies, so a short-squeeze on Sears stock the day after it files for bankruptcy is not going to give us the vapors, but we also think that all these canny Millennial investors buying SHLD in droves should take this old traders axiom to heart: "It's 2018 and you're buying fucking Sears."

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