Bill Ackman Reveals Long Positions In Starbucks And Love

The Pete Davidson of finance is showing off some big Ack energy.
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Hot rod Bill Ackman.

Hot rod Bill Ackman.

Remember at the beginning of the year, when we learned that Bill Ackman had decided maybe it was time to let the old ways die?

By retreating into himself, shrinking the size of Pershing Square Capital and refocusing himself away from being Bill Ackman, he could return to being the kind of ingeniously canny investor who made Bill Ackman a bold-faced name in the first place. Less attention to getting attention and more measured, studious, monastical thinking about the kind of investment philosophies that would prevent another Herbalife, or Family Dollar, or Chipotle.

Well, it's about 10 months later and the long-term return on that plan seems to be a conclusive "FUCK that noise!" Bill has spent the last few months making big ol' bets on some of his favorite bad habits, taking passive positions on big name brands, and just being out there doing his thing. And it's working! Pershing Square is up on the year, bigly, meaning that the saddest man is asset management was building a nice second act at The Silver Phoenix of The Far West Side.

But all of that was prelude to what came today...

Bill Ackman of Pershing Square Capital revealed a new stake in Starbucks on Tuesday at a conference in New York.
The fund has 15.2 million shares, about $900 million worth.

Boom. That's Bill Ackman making a $1 billion [let 's have fun with the number] bet on a household name stock. And unlike his adorable little passive play into Nike, we're assuming that the Ack-Man is not throwing down this kind of capital to keep quiet about how grande or venti things should be at the globe's most omnipresent coffee chain.

A stake this big in a company this well-known is essentially a concrete guarantee that we're about to see a lot more of Bill Ackman on CNBC trying to be coy with Leslie Picker and passive-aggressively insulting Scott Wapner. We're going to get wall-to-wall Ack, man, because Bill has his mojo back, man.

And don't just take our word for it on the mojo thing, take Bill's!

How much is Bill Ackman feeling Bill Ackman right now? Apparently, he's at a "Talk about my love life at a conference being hosted by Jim Grant"-level of crazy in love. Bill Ackman is the Pete Davidson of finance, you guys.

Remember Bill's new girlfriend who turned down Brad Pitt to keep dating him? Bill put a ring on it, you guys...because of course, he did! And he announced it to the world as part of his newest slide dek, because Bill Ackman knows what ladies want. He's back in love and back in the black, and we couldn't be happier for him.

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