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Fresh Off His Mega-Bullish Call On Cryptos, Tom Lee Is Calling the Bottom For Equities

Hey, he's gotta be right eventually.

Sick of the October Market Swoon™?

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Well, then has CNBC got good news for you!

October has been a jarring month for U.S. stocks. But one strategist is calling a bottom and says it's an opportune time to buy a few of the struggling sectors.

Noice! These dark days are over, nerds. We're about to get back in the money and everything in on sale. Thanks, CNBC, for giving us the good news, and thank your pal, the super-confident strategist who apparently knows their shit. You got a name for this soothsaying oracle?

"We are massively oversold," Tom Lee, managing partner and head of research at Fundstrat Global Advisors, said in a note to clients Wednesday. "A 10% decline in 20 days is a 2 standard deviation event."

Oh, it's Tommy "Bitcoin" Lee?...umm, nevermind.

*whispers* The market is fucked, you guys.

Wall Street strategist Tom Lee say rapid market sell-off is over: 'The bottom is here' [CNBC]



American President Makes Strong Bid For Nobel Prize In Economics

Donald Trump is basically Milton Friedman, if Milton Friedman boned aging porn stars and knew jackshit about markets.

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Where In The World Is Larry Kudlow?

The market is bleeding from the face and Kuddles is not on TV...are we all going to die?

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Bathed In The Red Glow Of Market Panic, Jim Cramer Calls Out For Aunt Janet

Jim Cramer misses the comforting embrace of Janet Yellen.


Larry Kudlow Explains To CNBC That Trump's Comments On The Fed Are Totally Fine If You Just Ignore Them Like Larry Does

"Listen, Jimmy and Carl, you just put your fingers in your earholes like so, and then hum really loud until your brain fills with sound..."