Inside Hedge Funders With @CreditNegative: Time4Crypto

Thoughts on Nephew Jacob's crypto symposium.
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ON THE BUS RIDE HOME FROM MY NEPHEW’S CRYPTOCURRENCY SYMPOSIUM IN ROCHESTER, NEW YORK, I BEGIN DRAFTING AN INTERNAL MEMO TO STAFF REGARDING (LACK OF) QUALITY STANDARDS ON INVESTMENT RESEARCH. “I EARNESTLY BELIEVE YOU FUCKS, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKS, ARE A WASTE OF MY TIME AND MONEY, AND I GENUINELY WISH THE WORST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES” I’VE LEARNED FROM MY JACK WELCH MBA COURSES THAT NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT IS A USEFUL MOTIVATIONAL TOOL CALLED A “KAIZEN” OR SOME CHINESE SHIT LIKE THAT. “THAT BEING SAID, IF WE DON’T FIND MONEYMAKING IDEAS (I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON CRYPTO HERE, MY NEPHEW/SENSEI JACOB REALLY KNOWS THE SPACE COLD), OUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE VERY BAD- THINK IWO JIMA BUT WORSE- AND OUR CLIENTS WILL LEAVE THE BONUS POOL LOOKING LIKE HIROSHIMA."

BitcoinButtplug

I PAUSE TO TAKE INSPIRATION FROM THE VISUAL GLORY OF UPSTATE NEW YORK FROM I-84 AND THE SMELL OF URINE FROM MY BEAUTIFULLY PATTERNED CLOTH SEAT. "MOST OF THE DOGSHIT YOU’VE SENT ME MAKES FOR DECENT TOILET READING, BUT IT HONESTLY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE COMMITTING SEPPUKU” I RECEIVE A PING (“PING” IS SLANG FOR A SHORT MESSAGE, NOT A RACIAL SLUR) BACK FROM MY CANNABIS ANALYST WITH HIS FAVORITE 15 IDEAS FOR NEXT WEEK “THIS IS GREAT SHIT, THIS IS WONDERFUL MY DUDE- THIS STUFF IS GETTING ME HIGH- LOL (I MAKE SURE TO CC ALL MY LESSER ANALYSTS). LET’S GRAB A BEER AND TALK THRU THE RISK BOOK, AND OTHER BOOK RISKS, AND OTHER IDEAS WE MIGHT HAVE FOR MONEYMAKING IN THE BOOK”

@creditnegative is probably the best fund manager in the game. You can't afford to invest with him.

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