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Crypto Market Plunges Into "John McAfee Seasoning His Own Penis For Consumption" Territory

If Ethereum drops under $50, who eats Tom Lee's dick?

We don't know if you've heard, but cryptocurrencies might, in fact, be total bullshit.

A cursory look at any chart of widely-traded cryptos will show you a statistical bloodbath. Most of the big names are either testing their lows or look to be seriously considering it. The bottom seems to have fallen out of the synthetic market for digital money and even the most vocal cryptozealots are starting to admit that this whole thing feels kind of over.

At this time last year, many basement nerds crypto analysts were talking about Bitcoin surging into six-digit valuations by now, and some saying that we were still in Bitcoin's infancy. Last July, John McAfee even promised to eat his own dick on national television if BTC didn't hit $500K within three years. We're almost halfway there and Bitcoin looks like this:

Screen Shot 2018-11-26 at 11.50.57 AM

That kind of carnage leaves us with one major questioning pertaining to technical valuations of the market for cryptocurrencies: How does one season and prepare their own dick?



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