Deutsche Bank Thinking Now Would Be A Great Time To Shake Up Its Regulatory Leadership Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong...Again

How can you not love this bank?



Deutsche Bank AG is weighing another high-level shake-up, which could include the departure of top executives central to its relationships with key regulators in the U.S. and Europe, according to people close to the bank.


One of the executives whose possible departure is under discussion is Sylvie Matherat, the bank’s chief regulatory officer and a member of the management board, some of the people say. Another is the bank’s CEO of the Americas region, Tom Patrick, the people added.
Ms. Matherat has told associates she might need to prepare to leave the bank, and has expressed unhappiness with what she described to some associates as constraints to improving financial-crime controls and mending Deutsche Bank’s relationships with regulators, some of the people say.


In fairness, Matherat never seemed to understand where Deutsche was even based.

Deutsche Bank Weighs Shake-Up Among Senior Executives [Bloomberg]



Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany

New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.

By Nordenfan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Deutsche Bank Still Doing Things Wrong Because It Takes Time To Stop Doing Things Wrong The Right Way

Going from "What's compliance?" to actual compliance could take at least a year.


Bonus Watch '17: Deutsche Bank TOTALLY Dealt Away 2016 Bonuses In DoJ Deal

Bad news for Deutsche bankers...but we look great here!


Deutsche Bank Wishes Dante Was Around To Witness Hellscape Of The Modern Regulatory Environment

It makes a lot of sense that DB has lately taken to reading medieval epic poetry about Hell.


It's Difficult To Hear Christian Sewing Brag About Deutsche Bank's Rebirth What With All Those Police Sirens Blaring Outside Deutsche Bank HQ

German police raid Deutsche Bank after realizing that it hasn't been fined for anything in like months.


Somehow, Things Are Even Worse At Deutsche Bank

We Need To Talk About Deutsche Bank.