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David Solomon Goes The Full Bart Simpson In Year-End Message To Goldmanites

On the subject of 1MDB scandal, DJ D-Sol wants everyone to rest easy next week.

The ever-devolving 1MDB scandal has hung over Goldman Sachs like a legal Sword of Damocles this holiday season.


For David Solomon, the Malaysian scandal has been like inheriting a nightmare that tanks your stock price and makes your nascent leadership a much more complicated reality. With a foreign government handing out subpoenas, the US economy shitting its own pants and a creeping sense that Lloyd Blankfein spent a lost month clubbing with Jho Low, DJ D-Sol finds himself needing to staunch the bleeding at the end of 2018. A declarative statement is needed to show the rank-and-file that Goldman Sachs will remain Goldman Sachs in 2019 and beyond.

According to WSJ, this is what he came up with...

In a message posted to Goldman’s internal website, Mr. Solomon defended its culture and compliance measures, both of which have been criticized by prosecutors who last month criminally charged two former Goldman bankers in the widening probe. He has been relatively quiet on the matter since the U.S. Justice Department unsealed indictments Nov. 1.
“While we understand the anger and skepticism, we do not believe that the criticism directed at us accurately reflects who we were then or who we are now,” Mr. Solomon wrote. “Our culture and our processes around our due diligence and compliance was strong at the time, and is even stronger today.”

Instead of setting fire to the past and letting the old ways die, everyone's favorite part-time EDM club king is pivoting to a more Bart Simpsonian leadership tact, imploring employees not to have a cow since "We didn't do it, nobody saw us do it, they can't prove anything."

And, yes, we're also wondering how Marty Chavez would have handled this.

Goldman CEO Defends Firm on 1MDB Accusations [WSJ]



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