Opening Bell 12.11.18

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May-Day [The Water Coolest]

Despite the blokes across the pond doing their best to put a damper on US markets with a decision to postpone a Parliamentary Brexit vote indefinitely, US markets rallied to a positive close, with the Dow overcoming a 500 point drop early in the session to close up 30 points.

UK PM Theresa May pulled the plug on a vote that was expected to fail miserably in the UK’s Parliament. With a March Brexit deadline looming the major sticking point remains: whether or not there will be a “hard” customs border between Northern Ireland (which is part of the UK) and Ireland "proper."

With hardliners holding out for a clean break from the EU that would ensure strong independent trade deals, it is going to take more than a few lucky charms for May to get a deal done. A "No Deal Brexit" is the worst case scenario and would likely unleash the fury of thousand suns on the world's economy ... according to "experts," at least.

But things aren't that bad, right?

Feast your eyes on the most painfully British protest of all time. Lawmaker Lloyd Russell-Moyle, respectfully, mind you, tried to steal a priceless jewel studded mace that inexplicably sits in the middle of the House of Commons, apparently to prove a point that he was mad as hell about the Brexit vote, or lack thereof.

U.K.’s May Delays Brexit Vote in Face of Broad Opposition [WSJ]

Royally f*cked [The Water Coolest]

Quick, name something that European banks do better than US banks. If you said commit systemic fraud (see: Danske Bank) and run their business into the ground (see: Deutsche Bank), you’d be right. And now Standard Chartererd and HSBC are coming for the crown. The two British institutions were allegedly misled by Huawei into funneling illicit cash into Iran, more colloquially known as money laundering.

British banks may have been used for illicit payments related to Huawei: WSJ [CNBC]

Fun police [The Water Coolest]

Welp, now Under Armour employees know who to thank for the company changing its policy on strip club expenses. Two execs in the sports marketing department, Ryan Kuehl and Walker Jones, were shown the door amid questions about their spending habits as it relates to “events” and “nights out.” You don’t have to watch HBO's Ballers to read between the lines here, folks.

Under Armour reportedly ousts two executives close to CEO Kevin Plank [CNBC]

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