Skip to main content

Opening Bell 12.12.18

The Opening Bell is powered by The Water Coolest. (Confused? Don't worry, we've made you a new friend.)


So I got that going for me [The Water Coolest]

Today in 'stuff that really moves the needle ...'

Caddyshack, consider yourself warned: Game of Thrones is coming the crown. GoT is vying for the top spot as the preferred quote generating pop culture phenomenon of the sell side. "Winter is coming" popularized in the fantastical George R.R. Martin made-for-premium-cable program has become more omnipresent in earning's reports and pitch decks than "you'll get nothing an like it."

‘Winter Is Coming’ for the Sell-Side's Game of Thrones References

Going concern [The Water Coolest]

If the $4.5B impairment charge against Oath’s goodwill is any indication, Verizon’s bet on Yahoo and AOL’s content business, or the internet equivalent of Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes respectively, has failed miserably.

For the liberal arts majors amongst us, a goodwill charge is the difference between how much a company paid for another company and what said company is actually worth. By taking its lumps Verizon is more of less admitting the acquisitions were a complete and utter disaster. Well no sh*t.

The subsidiary of Verizon, called Oath, which houses Yahoo, AOL, HuffPost, and Tumblr brought in just $5.6B through the first three quarters of 2018, a relative drop in the bucket compared to Verizon’s $97B overall top line.

Compared to size movers Facebook and Google, Oath has struggled to pull fat stacks of ad revs and is expected to miss its goal of bringing in $10B by 2020. The brand that is one defunct social media property short of being a 2000’s internet graveyard, will focus on other revenue streams … like pressuring readers into making purchases of stuff they don't need via their useless sites.

It doesn't take more than two scrolls on Yahoo Finance to see they are already doing a bang up job at this.

Verizon Takes $4.5 Billion Charge Related to Digital Media Business [WSJ]

Ready to get The Water Coolest delivered to your inbox daily? Signup now.



Combined AOL/Yahoo Entity Tacitly Admits That It Might Be Pretty Sh!tty

Newly-minted "Oath:" wants you to know that things are coming from its colon.


Hey Look, It's Tim Armstrong's Turn To F@^* Up Yahoo!

Marissa Mayer finally finds herself on the right side of schadenfreude.