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When it came to our attention that Bill Ackman was taking a second chance on love, we admit that we were distracted by how the whole thing had a Brad Pitt subplot.

But thanks to The New York Times "Vows" section, we now understand that Ackman turning a former sexiest man alive into a Baxter is maybe like the seventh most interesting thing going on in The Ack Man's new marriage.

In fact, Ackman's "Mini-Vows" has everything: Intellectual musings on true love, the Israeli Air Force, Marty Peretz playing Cupid, interior decorating and a twist at the end that will leave you floored with joy. 

So enraptured are we by this stylistic and narrative triumph that we will demure from quoting it and instead encourage you to read it as it deserves; in full.

And we'd also like to offer a bushel of congratulations to the couple on all of their recent good news.

As If by Design, Their Connection Was Inevitable [NYT]


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Neri Oxman Has Pershing Square Capital Up Almost 25% On The Year

Happy Valentine's Day, From Mr. and Mrs. Bill Ackman.

Hot rod Bill Ackman.

After Finding Love For Himself, Bill Ackman Is Now Making It Harder For Others To Hook Up

Why you gotta c-block the United Technologies/Raytheon merger, Bill?

Hot rod Bill Ackman.

The Ackmanaissance Is Getting Stronger

The magic of love now has Bill Ackman up more than 45% in 2019.

Hot rod Bill Ackman.

Bill Ackman Reveals Long Positions In Starbucks And Love

The Pete Davidson of finance is showing off some big Ack energy.

Hot rod Bill Ackman.

Bill Ackman Is Back To Being A Real Tease

The Ackmanaissance has fully restored Bill's enjoyment of being a real naughty coquette with a new "mystery" position.


Bill Ackman Finding His Rebirth In Fish Sticks

That gross smell is Bill Ackman's salvation


The WSJ Pens A Touching Obit To Bill Ackman's Career

That sound you hear is Bill Ackman being buried alive.