Umm, all major indices ended the day in the red again today...

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The bells have rung, the damage is done and we still have seen neither hair nor hide of Wall Street's condescending WASP uncle, Larry Kudlow.

What is happening?! Did Trump misplace him?

We know this is the time of year that Kuddles spends getting furious about having to pay even a cent of taxes, but can he not pull himself away for some Plunge Protection Team duties? 

Surely some people in the White House know that Kevin Hassett's dipshit smiling face won't do anything for the Russell 2000. We need Larry to keep this nonsense stock market humming.

WHERE IS HE?

We demand to know.

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Our prayers have been answered, for Kuddles hath returned.

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"Listen, Jimmy and Carl, you just put your fingers in your earholes like so, and then hum really loud until your brain fills with sound..."

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So...just burn your money for warmth in order to survive the coming war with China.

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Why would Larry Kudlow lie to Mr. Market? He LOVES Mr. Market!

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Donald Trump Officially Trying To Kill Larry Kudlow

The president is looking to hurt Kuddle's BFF, King Dollar.