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If you're heading to work at 200 West Street toting a BlackBerry today, you might as well be listing to a Zune and wearing an "I'm A Dinosaur, DJ D-Sol Is A Meteor" t-shirt.

While some could see this as yet another bad sign for BlackBerry stock, we would argue that the real takeaway should be "Goldman Sachs was still using BlackBerrys?!" 

We're assuming that all new company-issued equipment will be way more capable of data storage for things like music files. Perhaps they might even come pre-loaded with this total banger.

Congrats on your new gear, Goldmen.



Harvey Schwartz Lays Down His Knives And Abdicates The Goldman Sachs Throne To A 55-Year-Old EDM DJ

Harvey Schwartz's "retirement" gives David "DJ D-Sol" Solomon the keys to Lloyd's kingdom.


Welcome To The Summer Of Lloyd!

Lloyd Blankfein is going to spend the next two a half months existing somewhere between TGIF and DGAF.


David Solomon Cuts Himself Some Slack By Naming Fewer Partners That He Will Eventually Have To Crush When They Yearn For His Throne

Unlike those silly traders, a greybeard investment banker like DJ D-Sol will quell the rebellion before it even begins.


David Solomon Goes The Full Bart Simpson In Year-End Message To Goldmanites

On the subject of 1MDB scandal, DJ D-Sol wants everyone to rest easy next week.