We have spent an inordinate wondering what exactly Goldman Sachs is doing with "Marcus," its still-nascent consumer product, and it's occurred to us more than once that Goldman has also been spending time wondering what it's going to about "Marcus."
Welp, we now have some pretty wonderful evidence what Goldman is doing, and we are so so pleased to share it with you. Some new ads have dropped on a YouTube channel that Goldman set up for Marcus video content a while ago, and though they be short, they are breathtaking in their lack of subtlety.
Yeah. It's real good. That guy is dumb and fat, and regular, yet also so empowered by his Goldman Sachs high-yield savings account. In fact, this bloated moron is singing! And he can't stop!
Hahahaha, YEAH! Fuck Todd and his low-yield-fraudulent-Wells Fargo-savings-account-having ass.
And speaking of being better than people, check out this lady:
A mother just holding onto sanity at a PTA meeting, existentially resentful of the other parents with whom she shares this garbage lot in life, but so buoyed by this APY miracle granted to her by a 57-year-old EDM DJ that she can literally break free of that dank classroom, admit that she's an emotionally selfish asshole without breaking tune and then go tell her high school econ teacher to eat a dick because she's "Baaaaaaaanking with Gooooooldman SAAAACHS!" [we made up those lyrics but not the plot twist that the PTA meeting is at the school she attended because even we can't make up shit that bleak.]
Overall, these ads are well-produced, wholly batshit and not nearly as tone deaf as some of you snowflakes are going to say they are. We'll wager that if Goldman Sachs has learned anything while looking into consumer banking it's that regular people find this whole thing agonizingly complicated and confusing, so much so that they feel dumb and easily preyed upon. So why not do ads that shows American idiots feeling so empowered by their new savings account that they go the full Lin Miranda?
Of course, these ads are condescending and lame and awkward, they're meant to sell Goldman Sachs to normal people. So, with that in mind, they are also perfect.