Jim Cramer calling Elon Musk 'P.T. Musk' is like Nickelback calling Creed 'talentless hacks.'

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THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

The good

Time to drink to trillion-izing. Following its fiscal Q3 earnings report, Microsoft shares, already up more than 30% this year rose 3%, giving the company a $1T market cap. Bill Gates’ brainchild was admitted to the 4-comma club following its top and bottom line beats. 

How did MSFT manage to crush it? The answer is in the cloud. Literally. Microsoft’s Azure revenue grew 73%. LinkedIn, which Microsoft purchased in 2016, and Office 365 also pulled their weight, posting 27% and 30% revenue increases, respectively.

The bad

Sure, shares of Facebook rose almost 10% after reporting Q1 earnings. And yes, revenue rose 26% vs Q1 2018. But profits were decimated by a $3B charge that represents a potential settlement with the FTC.

You might remember a little company called Cambridge Analytica, which became synonymous with a privacy breach that affected nearly 100M Facebook users. The Federal Trade Commission, which has been investigating the epic f*ck up has been in talks with the ‘Book regarding a settlement. The company expects the FTC fine to be in the $3B to $5B range. Wishful thinking?

The ugly

P.T. Musk, as he’s been anointed by Jim Cramer, really outdid himself this time.

Calling Tesla’s earnings debacle a “miss” would be an understatement. The company wasn’t even in the same universe as analyst's estimates. Don’t believe me?

Tesla reported a $2.90 loss per share vs. an expected 69 cent loss, and revenue came in at $4.54B vs. a $5.19B consensus estimate. These have been trying times for TSLA: the end of a federal tax credit for Tesla buyers and the production of a $35k Tesla 3 have wreaked havoc on the EV company.

But it's not all bad news. Elon looks to be taking a page out of Warren Buffett's book. Tesla plans to release an insurance product which would protect its vehicles as soon as next month. The product will be driven by in-car data.

Microsoft hits $1 trillion market cap after earnings beat estimates  [CNBC]

IN OTHER NEWS

- Ford will invest $500M in Rivian

- Occidental is trying to outbid Chevron for Anadarko

- McDonald's is renegotiating with UberEats

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