Big IPOs are a bit of a crapshoot for highly-valued tech unicorns that happen to not be profitable. So how do pre-IPO superstars massage the odds and make their lives easier as public companies that don't make money?

Uber Technologies Inc. has chosen electronic-trading giant Citadel Securities LLC to manage its hotly anticipated initial public offering on the New York Stock Exchange, people familiar with the matter said.

That's definitely one way.

Bringing in Ken Griffin and his guys to handle this is definitely a way to make sure that as little goes as wrong as possible. Spotify chose Citadel as its DMM after its direct listing, and things are going pretty well over there.

In fact, using Citadel only makes sense considering that Citadel has made huge strides in the specialist game since it jumped in a few years ago. But that's to be expected considering that Ken Griffin is not a fan of mediocrity. The only thing we don't like about this partnership is that Travis Kalanick is no longer around to give us the gift of two performative nerd Alphas trying to get along when the CEO of Uber shakes hands with Ken Griffin.

Uber Chooses Citadel Securities to Handle Its IPO [WSJ]

Related

Who'd want to invest in something like this? By Yinxinybyq [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons

Dow Drops 600 Points, Uber Announces IPO Will Price At Top, And Our Work Here Is Done

No one wants to hold equities today but everyone wants to hold Uber on Thursday, claims Uber.

Uber hindenburg

One Day After Underpromising, Uber Plans To Under-Deliver On Its IPO

"Surge pricing on our stock is a little lower than normal."

Who'd want to invest in something like this? By Yinxinybyq [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons

Uber's $100 Billion IPO Is The Final Symptom Of A Very Dumb And Very Fatal Disease

The hubris of everyone's least-favorite ridesharing company is outmatched only by its pile of burning cash.

Who'd want to invest in something like this? By Yinxinybyq [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons

Uber Loses $1 Billion In A Single Quarter, Market Yawns

The softest bigotry of almost no expectations.

Uber hindenburg

Masa Son Finding Out That Absurdly Big Numbers Aren't Always Fun

After Uber IPO disappoints, SoftBank looking to make it all back on the can't miss WeWork IPO.