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Facebook made it official yesterday, introducing the world to its proposed cryptocurrency, Libra. With the project, Zuck hopes that people outside of the yellowcake uranium and/or black tar heroin biz will embrace crypto for mainstream purposes. Wishful thinking.

It will be a while before we know if Zuckerbot has unleashed a new world order or just launched the next Google+, but in the meantime let's dissect Libra's white paper, shall we?

What we know

• Users will be able to exchange local currency for Libra instantly using FB Messenger, WhatsApp or a stand-alone Libra app ... and buy actual goods and services with it.

• Libra will be a "stablecoin," meaning it will be pegged to a basket of global currencies to avoid wild swings a la bitcoin.

• Facebook will create a subsidiary called Calibra (super original, Zuck) to separate church and state (read: social and financial data).

• The 'Book will partner with other major corporations and VCs which will invest in the project and offer bandwidth to manage the currency's massive ledgers. The 27 partners plus Facebook will make up the Libra Association.

• The name comes from the Roman word for a unit of weight measure, not the astrological sign, you basic b*tch, you.

• Libra will have a really stupid symbol that only a mother could love: ≋.

What we don't know

• If this sh*t will ever gain regulatory approval and which regulatory body will oversee the altcoin. US Senator Maxine Waters has already asked Zuck to put the project on hold and France's Finance Minister raised concerns about currencies being controlled by "private companies that respond to private interests."

• How exactly Facebook will make boatloads of money from it. As of now, it appears the 'Book will rely on small transaction fees and interest earned on money users cash in.

• If it will be safe or not. 

• The exact launch date. Facebook has promised a go-live date of early 2020.

• When the Winklevoss twins plan to approach the president of Harvard to lodge a complaint about Mark Zuckerberg stealing their idea.

Facebook announces Libra cryptocurrency: All you need to know [TechCrunch]


- US-China trade talks are back and better than ever [Reuters]

- POTUS almost went (and still might go) all "you're fired" on Fed Chair Jay Powell [Bloomberg]

- Google has a plan to fix the Bay Area's housing woes: let people live in its offices [TechCrunch]


Shouldn't even be looking at this logo.

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Zuckerberg Libra

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Zuckerberg Libra

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Zuckerberg Libra

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Looks like Jeffrey Epstein isn't the only billionaire getting off with a slap on the wrist ...

(Getty Images)

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Shouldn't even be looking at this logo.

Opening Bell 5.29.19

And you thought people with Chase Sapphire Reserve cards acted like elitist d-bags ...