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Everybody: "Markets are plummeting, if only there was someone who could save us!"

Jerome Powell: "Say no more, fam."

At a conference that sounds about as exciting as listening to a play-by-play of the compliance intern's weekend at Comic Con, Fed Chair Jerome Powell said he wouldn't not lower interest rates if the need arose.

More precisely Jerry Interest Rates indicated that he and Plunge Protection Team "will act as appropriate to sustain the [economic] expansion." Powell stopped short of blaming the trade war for the economy's woes but hinted at the uncertainty it has caused. The conference headliner admitted the Fed does "not know how or when these trade issues will be resolved."

Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. 

Jerome and his masters of monetary policy face a growing laundry list of sh*tstorms, namely Trump's trade war (on China, and more recently, Mexico) and a big tech witch hunt which have weighed on markets and the broader economy. 

Markets have fallen some 7% since POTUS announced that the US would hike tariffs on Chinese imports to 25% (from 10%). That is until Jay went all "not on my watch."

Powell's market-friendly rhetoric sent the S&P up 2.1% yesterday. Need more proof that yesterday was a really, really good day for markets? Tesla, had its best day of the year, closing up nearly 8%.

Powell Suggests Fed Could Cut Rates If Trade Spat Escalates  [WSJ]


- Everything is totally fine at CVS, you guys [WSJ]

- Nike hasn't messed up this bad since it almost ruined Zion Williamson's career [CNBC]


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