Notorious Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff has filed a petition with the Justice Department asking that President Donald Trump reduce his 150-year prison sentence.
Well, if anyone is going to find some room in his heart for mercy, it would be a fellow "victim" of those nosy kids over at the Southern District of New York. So is the president mulling over the idea that Bernie has suffered enough for his mindboggling litany of crimes?
Madoff, who pleaded guilty to 11 crimes in 2009, is not asking for a pardon from the president.
Instead, he is requesting clemency from Trump in the form of a sentence commutation, or reduction, according to information on the Justice Department’s web site.
A search of the that site shows that Madoff’s clemency request is “pending.”
Before you start laughing too hard, just remember that Trump treats his pardoning power like an emotionally-governed superpower, and he's very susceptible to flatterers, a skill commonly found in the most successful Ponzi schemers.
We don't know how Bernie can start up a MAGA-themed Twitter account from MCI Bunter Medium, but if we know anything about Madoff it's that he has his ways.
So let's not sleep on the possibility of Bernie Madoff seeing his 150-year sentence reduced in time to walk a free man again on the streets of New York City, where he will survive for at least a few minutes.
After all, when it comes to irredeemable public figures in the year 2019, there is only one credo to consider: In Trump, all things are possible.