When's the last time you heard about Deutsche uncovering some weird transactions?...Wait, don't answer that.

Well, once we heard that there was only bank doing business with alleged financier Jeffery Epstein after his sex crime conviction in 2008, it was really only a matter of time before we learned this...

As Deutsche Bank officials this year scrambled to extricate themselves from a yearslong relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, the wealthy financier charged this month with sex trafficking, they uncovered suspicious transactions in which Mr. Epstein had moved money out of the United States.

Deutsche Bank reported the transactions to a federal agency in charge of policing financial crimes, according to people familiar with the bank’s internal processes. The report came as the bank started looking for signs that Mr. Epstein was using his financial resources for the purposes of sex trafficking.

Even for Deutsche Bank, which almost assumes at this point that the transactions it's executing for clients will be found to be international crimes, the shit down on Epstein's ledger was apparently pretty troubling...

Deutsche Bank executives are still trying to understand the depth and scope of the bank’s relationship with Mr. Epstein, who has been a client of its private-banking division since at least 2013 — years after his conduct became public in a prostitution case involving a teenage girl.

But once Deutsche got a sense of how bad an actor Jeffrey Epstein was, it moved quickly to do what it does best; cosmically buttfumble its internal control mechanisms by careening into its own batshit terrible self-regulatory infrastructure before collapsing impotently into a pool of Teutonic shame...

The bank decided to sever ties with Mr. Epstein late last year, after The Miami Herald published an investigation into the government’s handling of the earlier sexual abuse allegations against him. But that process proved more complicated and time-consuming than executives had initially anticipated because Deutsche Bank’s private-banking division had opened several dozen accounts for Mr. Epstein and his businesses.

The bank’s antiquated technology systems did not help. On a number of occasions, Deutsche Bank executives had thought they had shut down all of Mr. Epstein’s accounts, only to learn that there were others that they had not previously been aware of, according to one of the people.

No, stop laughing so hard...you're stepping on the punchline:

As of late spring, there were still transactions taking place in some of Mr. Epstein’s Deutsche Bank accounts, the people said. Executives now believe that they have closed all of Mr. Epstein’s accounts.

But whatever did or didn't pop up in Deutsche's investigation of Epstein's  ̶p̶i̶m̶p̶i̶n̶g̶/̶e̶x̶t̶o̶r̶t̶i̶o̶n̶/̶P̶o̶n̶z̶i̶ ̶s̶c̶h̶e̶m̶e̶ private bank account, the bank definitely reported it to the Treasury Department...or not?

In addition, the compliance officers on at least one occasion noticed potentially illegal activity in one of Mr. Epstein’s accounts, including transactions in which money was moving outside the United States, the people said. The compliance officers produced a so-called suspicious activity report, but it is unclear whether the report was ever filed with the Treasury Department’s financial-crimes division.

Well, when you see that much sketchy international money moving around, it all kind of blurs together.

But Deutsche did report something. What it reported though, is maybe unclear to everyone...

The report was filed with the government as Deutsche Bank conducted an internal investigation into its relationship with Mr. Epstein. 

But, hey, let's be fair; Deutsche tried to eventually stop banking this guy they knew was a registered sex offender and then essentially shoved a bunch of crumpled transaction receipts at the Treasury Department while mumbling "Zis looks verrry bad," and then made sure that it wasn't still doing business for the guy. All Deutsche can really do now is cooperate with the DoJ, be entirely transparent and choose its language carefully when referring to how it banked a known serial rapist of adolescent girls...

Deutsche Bank officials are still trying to determine what Mr. Epstein was using his accounts for, including where and to whom he had previously moved money.

“We’re still trying to get our arms around it,” one of the people said.

Oooooh, so close, Deutsche Bank.

Jeffrey Epstein Moved Money Overseas in Transactions His Bank Flagged to U.S. [NYT]

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