Just one microchip in your brain will make you electric car an ever-appreciating asset.

So, this little news tidbit about Elon Musk trying to literally get into our brains has been making the rounds this morning.

From our favorite cool-nerd Elon experts over at The Verge:

Elon Musk’s Neuralink, the secretive company developing brain-machine interfaces, showed off some of the technology it has been developing to the public for the first time. The goal is to eventually begin implanting devices in paralyzed humans, allowing them to control phones or computers.

The first big advance is flexible “threads,” which are less likely to damage the brain than the materials currently used in brain-machine interfaces. These threads also create the possibility of transferring a higher volume of data, according to a white paper credited to “Elon Musk & Neuralink.” The abstract notes that the system could include “as many as 3,072 electrodes per array distributed across 96 threads.”

Yeah, wow, cool. Chips in the brain to help stave off disease and dementia and yadda yadda. Elon can dress this idea up in all the humanity-saving altruism he can muster [like he did with his space rocket company...and his solar company...and his tunnel company...and his car company] but we're pretty sure we see the next few steps here. and it's going to save Tesla's electric ass.

You're a Muskian disciple who worships at the altar of Elon. You drive a Model 3 that you charged at your home that is powered by your SolarCity panels that you bought using PayPal. And you fully believe that your car is going to appreciate in value once the autonomous driving thing kicks in and saves everyone before you go to Mars on the SpaceX rocket you're saving up to reserve a spot in time for launch. 

So fast forward 18 months; why not let Neuralink drop some tech in your actual brain, let it communicate with computers, like the nav app in your car that is suddenly driveable via thought...and holy shit, what a breakthrough! It's better than autonomous, it's intention-ous! And also you're suddenly going on routes by big box stores that you sometimes order from online and pulling into drive-thru lanes at fast food joints that you sometimes fantasize about eating at even though you know it's bad for you...What an amazing world. Your car is worth 5x what you paid, your TSLA stock is worth enough to buy that rocket seat and David Einhorn disappeared from public life months ago. Neuralink DID save humanity: Elon's!

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