A modest proposal for what POTUS can do with those tanks after his parade.

America is starting its 243rd birthday celebration a day early with stocks hitting the highest level in the history of mankind. The S&P 500 is closing in on 3,000 for the first time ever.

While watching the 1-minute S&P 500 chart on his Bloomberg terminal, President Trump couldn't help himself from partaking in his new favorite pastime - tweeting about the stock market. 

Most Americans likely don't share the same level of excitement as President Trump, however. They are simply not participating in the benefits of a record high stock market. The top 1% holds nearly 40% of wealth with the top 20% holding nearly 90%.  The number of people on food stamps has risen about 40% during the tenure of what is now the longest economic expansion in US history. More than two-thirds of the country is living paycheck to paycheck

Along with celebrating the stock market's all-time highs, Trump's "Salute to America" parade is being held in Washington, D.C. tomorrow. Military vehicles and army tanks have been descending on the capital in recent days. Following the "Salute to America" parade, the military vehicles could be deployed to eliminate short sellers, thus guaranteeing Trump will never have to worry about a down day in the markets again. 

With that threat eliminated, he can then finally throw himself a ticker tape parade on Wall Street.

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