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The SDNY has arrested "money manager" Jeffrey Epstein and dropped upon him the most upsetting indictment that we have ever read.

We've got posts on Jeff going back all the way to The Carney Days™, and let's just say that the guy's sexual tastes have always been widely rumored to be a bit..."problematic." But while most of the media is beginning to percolate with who Epstein could bring down, it's important to remember that Epstein's career as a financier was probably just acting as an active money butler to billionaires that he cultivated as close friends. Between his relatively short [and weirdly opaque] time at Bear Stearns and his life as a money manager for only billionaires [you know, the hard work], Epstein is something of a pervy Zelig in New York City high society and financial crime.

This excellent piece in Vanity Fair from 2002 is a bizarre window into Epstein's unusual professional and personal lives. Vicki Ward does incredible work running down what Epstein, like, did for work, and comes up with a laughably inscrutable web of schemes, lawsuits and really shady shit. What makes it even more amazing though are the people who seem to have been involved with Epstein on all these batshit little deals, the kind of people who would really prefer if Epstein did not roll over on literally everyone he's ever done dirty shit with in order to get out of life in prison for being the world's most openly insidious sex criminal.

So while everyone else is watching out to see if Jeffrey Epstein flips on Donald Trump and/or Bill Clinton, we here at Dealbreaker will be waiting with bated breath to see if he flips on,


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Second Major Sex Crime Charge Against Jeffrey Epstein Jogs Lex Wexner's Memory About Being Embezzled From That One Time

Now that you mention it, that federal sex trafficking charge is reminiscent of Les catching Epstein stealing "vast sums" of money from him back in 2007.

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Judge Decides Jeffrey Epstein Will Have To Find More Billionaire Investors In GenPop

The sex monster and alleged financier poses a "danger to the community" and will not get bail.

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Convicted Sex Criminal And Alleged Financier Jeffrey Epstein Is Indisputably Dead

The 66-year-old former Bear Stearns i-banker has reportedly hung himself in his Manhattan jail cell.

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Jeffrey Epstein Drops Sick Burn On Hedge Funders From Beyond The Grave

And he does it via Charlie Gasparino in case any of you were afraid this wasn't sufficiently batshit.

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Jeffrey Epstein Still Using Sex-Crime Trust Fund From Beyond The Grave

Well, his executors, anyway. For their own benefit. Allegedly.

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Is Jeffrey Esptein Really "A Financier"? You Tell Us

Seriously, let's use this quasi-legitimate platform to find someone who has done business with the most hated man in America today.

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Epstein’s Former “Best Pal”: Have Pity On Poor Little Jeffrey Epstein

In a bizarre interview, Stuart Pivar claims Epstein “couldn’t help himself,” while insisting that his victims were “complicit” in their own abuse.