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With convicted sex criminal and alleged financier Jeffrey Epstein's body still cooling down in a NYC morgue [which we hope is fully staffed by people named Steve Morgue], we are being served a buffet of stories from reporters purporting to have had off-the-record conversations with Epstein prior to his most recent arrest and subsequent death.

In yesterday's Times, James Stewart dropped a bizarre little tale of visiting Epstein's mansion last August. And not to be outdone, our pal Charlie Gasparino just unloaded a real whammy on Fox Business detailing what appears to have been something of a cautious, phone-centric quasi-bromance between him and Epstein.

The whole thing is really Gaspolicious, and we encourage you to read it in full, but the part you absolutely need to see is right here:

Either way, Epstein wanted me to know that despite what I have been reading, he’s not the pervert the media is making him out to be.

“I just want you to know I’m not a pedophile,” he said, adding, “Maybe the only thing worse than being called a pedophile is being called a hedge fund manager,” he said with a slight laugh.

So, YA BURNT, hedge fund managers! Jeffrey Epstein was ashamed of you.

Anyway, Jeffrey Epstein is still dead.

Jeffrey Epstein before he died: 'The only thing worse than being called a pedophile is being called a hedge fund manager': FOX Business exclusive [FoxBiz]


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Judge Decides Jeffrey Epstein Will Have To Find More Billionaire Investors In GenPop

The sex monster and alleged financier poses a "danger to the community" and will not get bail.

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Is Jeffrey Esptein Really "A Financier"? You Tell Us

Seriously, let's use this quasi-legitimate platform to find someone who has done business with the most hated man in America today.

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Second Major Sex Crime Charge Against Jeffrey Epstein Jogs Lex Wexner's Memory About Being Embezzled From That One Time

Now that you mention it, that federal sex trafficking charge is reminiscent of Les catching Epstein stealing "vast sums" of money from him back in 2007.

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Convicted Sex Criminal And Alleged Financier Jeffrey Epstein Is Indisputably Dead

The 66-year-old former Bear Stearns i-banker has reportedly hung himself in his Manhattan jail cell.

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Epstein’s Former “Best Pal”: Have Pity On Poor Little Jeffrey Epstein

In a bizarre interview, Stuart Pivar claims Epstein “couldn’t help himself,” while insisting that his victims were “complicit” in their own abuse.

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Jeffrey Epstein Still Using Sex-Crime Trust Fund From Beyond The Grave

Well, his executors, anyway. For their own benefit. Allegedly.