Good Job, Everybody!
Strong start to the week, you guys.
Who could have predicted this...other than everybody?
Excited to see how much bullshit we can all attempt to swallow tomorrow
White House Now Offering Sweet 2-For-1 Deal On Intractable Trade Wars Just In Time For Summer
With China willing to burn it all down, is this not a perfect time to f*ck with Mexico?
President Trump Calls Market Moves With The Skill You'd Expect From An Oft-Bankrupted Contractor
You're never getting paid back, Deutsche Bank.
Peter Navarro Wants To Make It Clear That All Ideas Obviously Coming From Him Should Be Treated As Fake News
Did you really believe the White House was barring all US investment in Chinese markets? What are you, Peter Navarro?
Steve Mnuchin Is Not Your Man
Come on, Wall Street, how many times are you going to let this weasel get your hopes up?
Dying Industry Pins Hope On Idiots Buying Into An Impossible Trade Deal
Hedge funds are finding Alpha in the fallacy of a US/China trade accord.
Jim Cramer Wants To Be Fed Chair
The Mad One is now openly applying to be Donald Trump's central banker.
Just Remember That Whatever Happens Tonight, The Bond Market Is F@cked
Happy Election Day, monsters.
Elon Musk Hopes To Distract From His Problems By Having People Pay Him To Elaborately Murder Them In Space
If you don't stop shorting Tesla, Elon's going to shoot a Japanese guy into the fucking moon.