It’s nowhere near big enough for his personality and grievances.

Have you ever bought a 6,800-square-foot beachfront penthouse, with almost as much outdoor space, extensively renovated it to your tastes (in spite of its being all of four years old), only to realize that it wasn’t right at all? That all of the terraces, infinity pools, outdoor kitchens, fire pits and ocean views just don’t make up for the face that five bedrooms and 13,000 square feet of space just aren’t enough?

Cliff Asness has.

Mr. Asness, 53, purchased the property via a limited liability company from Boris Jordan, a media mogul and financier of Russian origin, for $26 million in May 2018, property records show…. Once the improvements on the penthouse were completed, Mr. Asness had a change of heart. He is now looking for a bigger place in Florida…

In fairness to Asness, it definitely does not sound like a tropical Batcave.

Billionaire Cliff Asness to List Trophy Miami Penthouse for $29.5M [Penta]

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Chuck Schumer's Gonna Have To Do A Lot Better Than Dinner If He Wants A Piece Of Cliff Asness

Earlier today, Politico ran a story titled "Can Chuck Schumer win back Wall St. for Democrats?" Apparently the New York Senator recently "embarked on a fence-mending campaign with senior Wall Street executives, many of whom have grown furious with the Democratic party," in a charm offensive that has included "holding private dinners [including one put on by Pershing Square manager Bill Ackman], organizing high-end fundraisers for Democratic candidates and quietly pressing for super PAC donations." According to Politico, "the outreach appears to be working: Hedge fund and private-equity executives have held six different fundraisers for Democratic challengers and senators at Schumer’s request, sources say." Some financial services employees, however, are not so easy. Take Cliff Asness for example. The AQR manager happened to read the piece and here's what he had to say about it: From: Cliff Asness Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2012 01:08 PM To: AQR lieutenants, other top hedge fund managers Subject: Can Chuck Schumer win back Wall St. for Democrats? Good title question. Only if Wall Street is so f---ing stupid as to defy credulity, honor, and morality. So, yeah, probably. Best line: “Chuck Schumer is pro-business". Yeah, ones that buy him off in explicit crony-capitalism, but he wants to regulate and tax to death ones that don't. Don Corleone was also pro-business. You guys say this stuff with a straight face huh? C p.s. Sorry about the multiple emails, merging lists (though that is probably not the thing that upsets people) While the above response should come as a shock to exactly no one, we don't think Schumer should give up on Asness so easily. The guy just wants to be wooed. Start with some limited edition action figures, add some $700 bottles of wine, and go from there.  You whip out a Mego Elastic Batman, he's listening. You show up with a a matching Captain America shield tattoo but instead of on your forearm it's on your face? He's nominating you for President. You're welcome.