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With primary filing deadlines flying past, we at Dealbreaker are slowly coming to a painful realization: While Mike Bloomberg is not going to be the next president of the United States, Jamie Dimon is not going to be, either, on account of his not running. (This also means that Marianne Lake is probably not going to be the first female CEO of a top bank, but that’s for another time.)

Since he’s apparently staying put at JPMorgan, JD has to find some way to occupy his time, now that he’s already revolutionized the U.S. healthcare industry and gotten to work on some new digs more befitting of his grandeur. And that was is by horning in on his competitors’ wealth management businesses.

The bank is creating a unit that will combine its U.S. wealth-management operations for affluent clients and the Chase branch network’s financial-advisory business, according to a memo reviewed by The Wall Street Journal. The restructured business will also include JPMorgan’s new You lnvest online brokerage, the memo said…. JPMorgan Chief Executive James Dimon has long said he wants to strengthen the bank’s wealth-management business, a strategy that has helped smooth out the earnings of other big banks. In his annual letter to shareholders in early 2018, he said he saw “no reason” the bank couldn’t double its market share in this area.

JPMorgan Takes Aim at Rivals in Wealth Business Revamp [WSJ]


By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Firing Watch ’22: Jamie Dimon Is Itching To Make An Example Of You Anti-Vaxxers

Stand in the way of his forcing people back to the office, get canned.


Jamie Dimon Is Not A Luddite

And he’s spending a few hundred million dollars to prove it.

(Getty Images)

Junior JPMorgan Chasers Urged To Grind Themselves To Dust To Pay For Jamie Dimon’s Latest Bonus And Also Find Themselves

Both of which are completely unnecessary for purpose, but apparently necessary to maintaining Wall Street’s culture or something.


Jamie Dimon Readies JPMorgan For His Transition To The White House

We see right through this "five more years" horseshit.


JPMorgan Shareholders Attempting To Starve Jamie Dimon Into The White House

If less than 75% of these yahoos think one man shouldn't be making more than $30 million a year, he might as well go run The Free World.

By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Infected JPMorgan Employees Haven’t Spread COVID To Bank’s Bottom Line

Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.