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Like a desperate and lonely person, Goldman Sachs has made clear it’s willing to change everything about itself to get you, the investing public, to like it again. Serving the unwashed masses? Let us make it as easy for you as possible. Don’t feel like wearing a tie to the office? Don’t bother. Need to see some evidence that we know that Asia is the future? How’s 300 new employees in China? Want to know more about our once obsessively secret operations? Have a peek! Interested in spending your weekends DJing instead of poring over earnings reports? Go ahead: The boss does it. After all, when the best that can be said of your own quarterly earnings is that you had to put away slightly less than Wells Fargo to deal with legal fallout, how much worse can things get?

Goldman said it socked away an extra $1.24 billion last year to cover expected legal and regulatory fines…. The legal reserves pushed Goldman’s return on equity—a closely watched measure of shareholder value—to 10% for the year, the worst among big banks that have reported financial results so far. Costs also rose as Goldman spends heavily on new initiatives, such as consumer banking and wealth management….

The result: Goldman’s annual profit fell 19% even as revenue held steady.

Goldman Profit Falls as Bank Braces for 1MDB Fine [WSJ]
Goldman Sachs, the 150-year-old investment bank, is staking its future on a mobile app [CNBC]
Goldman Plans to Double China Headcount to 600 in Five Years [Bloomberg]


Goldman Sachs Balds 2

(Taking Back) Bonus(es) Watch: Current, Former Goldman Sachs CEOs

$5.1 billion in fines demands a $174 million decrease in the comfort of millionaires.


Goldman Proves New Theory Of The Time Value Of Money

Wait for a politically convenient moment, pay less.


Goldman Said Sorry, Doesn’t Think It Should Have To Also Say ‘Guilty’

Also, isn’t a $2 billion fine for ripping a country off of $6.5 billion sort of excessive, when you think about it, Attorney General Barr?


Ex-Goldman Partner As Good At Forging Divorce Papers As He Was At Bribing Malaysian Officials

How one man was married to three women at the same time, and how it may sink the case against his old friend.