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We will admit that we briefly got our hopes up when we saw that Jamie Dimon wouldn’t be financing any more drilling in the great (decreasingly) frozen North. Not because we think he’s helping save the planet: That ship has long since set sail onto the warming, deepening waters of our oceans. Rather, it’s because yet another in a series of suspiciously presidential-sounding statements, coming so hot on the heels of left-leaning capitalism’s last great hope Michael Bloomberg’s sputtering, uninspiring debate performances could only mean one thing: He’s gonna do it! Sure, it’s probably too late for him to win enough delegates in the primaries and so on, but deadlock and a stop-Sanders alliance and brokered convention and boom! Your dream Dimon-Marianne Williamson ticket. Alas, it remains just that, a dream, for a true Democratic presidential candidate in waiting probably would not do this in a race in which Sanders and Elizabeth Warren still have a combined majority of allocated delegates.

The nation’s biggest bank will occasionally tap the Fed’s discount window when it makes business sense to do so, Mr. Dimon said at JPMorgan’s investor day Tuesday. Banks—scarred from the public beating they took during the financial crisis—have all but abandoned the window in recent years to avoid even a whiff of a government bailout.

“We think it’s time,” Mr. Dimon said. “We think it’s a good idea and will help remove the stigma.”

JPMorgan Won’t Shun the Fed’s Discount Window Anymore [WSJ]
JPMorgan takes baby step toward curbing fossil fuel loans [WaPo]
Bloomberg’s Second Debate: Steadier, but Still Bumpy [WSJ]


Jamie Dimon Candidate

It’s Not Jamie Dimon’s Fault He Can’t Help Sounding Presidential

Maybe all of you Bernie Bros should have thought about that before scaring him out of the race and leaving us with Joe Biden.

Jamie Dimon Candidate

Michael Bloomberg Thinking About Running For President Again As Jamie Dimon Continues To Solve All Of America’s Problems

The wrong billionaire is about to get mauled by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren in the primaries.

Jamie Dimon Candidate

Jamie Dimon Lies To CNBC About His 2020 Plans

Another brick falls from the facade hiding the #DraftDimon movement.

Jamie Dimon, chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase(Getty Images)

Area Bank CEO Spends 24 Hours Cosplaying As Presidential Candidate

For a guy who's not running for president, Jamie Dimon spends an inordinate amount of time running for president.

Jamie Dimon Candidate

Jamie Dimon, Who Is Definitely Not Running For President, Unveils Newest Criminal Justice Reform Plan

Give him your hungry, your tired, your convicted felons yearning to, uh, say hello to people as they enter a Chase branch.


Jamie Dimon Thinks That Things Are Looking Good Out There, Muses That They Could Perhaps Look Better

The Khaleesi of Wall Street is entering the "Dopey" portion of his pre-campaign rope-a-dope.