From his home in a gated community on an exclusive island off Miami Beach, a man in white tennis shoes gazes out on the calm water of Biscayne Bay. How he wishes his life could be as tranquil. For in spite of this man’s professedly peace-loving ways, his 84 years have been routinely punctuated by battle over such key points of principle as whether he or Bill Ackman is the bigger asshole. No, the only combat Icahn he now wishes to engage in is on the fairways, shuffleboard and tennis courts of the Indian Island Country Club.

Alas, it is not to be for Carl Icahn, for he finds himself called to arms once more. And so, like Neville Chamberlain before him, he must wearily announce that his is again at war, with HP.

HP Inc on Thursday rejected Xerox Holdings Corp’s raised takeover bid of about $35 billion, saying it undervalued the personal computer maker…. Chip Bergh, chair of HP’s board, said the offer would leave shareholders with an investment in a combined company that is burdened with an irresponsible level of debt.

HP rejects Xerox’s raised takeover offer of $35 billion [Reuters]