A month ago, we found ourselves shocked to hear someone claiming religious discrimination and thinking it rang sorta true. The alleged victim, who divides his time between his twin callings of priest and hedge fund manager with a gift for prophecy (albeit an incomplete one), produced noted that his persecutors, Ligard Pharmaceuticals—whose shares Emmanuel Lemelson had shorted and then trashed—insisted he needed to be “silenced for good” and played up his God-bothering in lobbying the SEC for action, which it finally gave into back in 2018.

The only problem was, we weren’t supposed to know any of that just yet.

After hearing on the SEC’s Motion pursuant to Fed. R. Civ. P. 37, I find that Defendants are in contempt of this Court’s Protective Orders. Defendant Lemelson concedes that he violated this order by giving a journalist at Barron’s copies of materials deemed confidential under the Protective Orders…. Defendants shall not take any position in Ligand stock, or its derivatives, for the duration of this action, including appeals…. Defendants shall pay a penalty of $100 per page of the confidential discovery materials disclosed in violation of this Court’s Protective Orders within 30 days.

Render unto Caesar, Father Lemelson.

Hedge Fund Priest Sanctioned Over Press Leaks in SEC Case [Bloomberg Law]


By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Hedge Fund Manager In Jail For Ponzi Scheming Won’t Get Out For Lawyer’s Horndogging

Keenan Hauke’s attorney may have been blinded by desire for his client’s wife, but Hauke should have said something about that earlier.

By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Allegedly Fraudulent Hedge Fund Counters Fraud Allegations With Award Won Through Alleged Fraud

Goldsky Asset Management may have no assets, but it does have hardware.


Turns Out Hedge Fund Bribery Does Have Victims

Och-Ziff may not be Och-Ziff anymore, but it’s still paying dearly for Och-Ziff’s crimes.


Ex-Hedge Fund Manager May Need New Divorce Strategy

Being a pain in the ass may be fun, but it is super-expensive.

By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Hedge Fund Sues Target Company For Being Mean To It

Also lying and trying to manipulate a proxy contest, but are those even still illegal in Donald Trump’s America?