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Well, the negotiations on the future relationship between the European Union and United Kingdom are off to a swimming start. The French are already planning a fishing-boat blockade if they don’t get access to British waters. Boris Johnson plans to pull out of the EU’s pandemic warning system in the middle of a pandemic in the name of the UK’s illusory leverage over its former partners. This imaginary upper hand can also be seen in London’s demand for “legally binding” access to EU financial markets while Johnson makes clear he has no plans to observe the “legally binding” divorce agreement he negotiated. Unsurprisingly, the EU has said it alone will decide on whether and how UK firms can play in its markets. And the UK, unbowed, is making clear in the least persuasive terms imaginable that two can play at that game.

Bank of England regulators have told the German lender they now require monthly updates, as opposed to typical quarterly meetings… They have warned Deutsche that its post-Brexit reauthorisation could be delayed if improvements in compliance are not seen soon, the FT reported, although sources told the paper this remains a remote possibility.

That’s right, Brussels: Play nice with Blighty or Boris Johnson will accelerate the world’s worst bank’s plan to turn its absurdly optimistic new home in London into an even worse-run version of a WeWork space. After all, who wouldn’t want to ensure the continued access to an irrelevant market of a bank with such sterling qualities as these?

In January, the bank accidentally sent data relating to thousands of transactions by 500 clients to Amazon, one of its corporate customers, it reported, citing people briefed on the error.… Two weeks ago, Deutsche was unable to access the UK’s high-value payments system — known as CHAPS — for three hours in the middle of the day, the paper reported.

Deutsche Bank under pressure from UK regulator over compliance failings [City A.M.]
Britain Wants Binding Obligations on Access to EU Financial Market [NYT]
EU to Decide ‘Unilaterally’ On UK Access To Finance Sector [Law360]


England's Donald Trump: Pro-Leave, obviously.

Brexiteers Have Figured Out What Brexit Means, And It’s Not What The Prime Minister Says It Means

So in the great tradition of Brexit, they’re taking their balls and going home.

England's Donald Trump: Pro-Leave, obviously.

Boris Johnson Wastes No Time Proving, Yup, He’s Still Boris Johnson

Thanks for the campaign money, City, and sorry (but not really).

England's Donald Trump: Pro-Leave, obviously.

Boris Johnson Accomplishes The Impossible

Not just cutting a Brexit deal: Cutting a Brexit deal worse than the first on his own pre-Prime Ministerial terms.

By Deutsche Bank AG (GIF format logo) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Deutsche Bank Expects To Still Be Around In 2048

And also that banking will still be done in London.

England's Donald Trump: Pro-Leave, obviously.

Bonus Watch ’22: British Bankers

Boris has a little pre-byelection present for you.


Deutsche Bank Exec Appears To Be Totally Unaware That Deutsche Bank Is Headquartered In Germany

New rule: The only bank not allowed to bitch about moving to Frankfurt is the one already fucking based there.

Sewing Gimp Deutsche

Deutsche Bank Settles Money Laundering Case For €15M, Unquantifiable Amount Of Bad Publicity

Christian Sewing involuntarily shudders whenever he hears police sirens now.

(Getty Images)

In Retrospect, Deutsche Bank Sees Something Fishy About This Paul Manafort Character

Probably shoulda done something about them at the time, but, you know, everyone makes mistakes. ‘Specially Deutsche Bank.