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For some time now, it has seemed clear here at #DraftDimon headquarters that JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon was not going to run for president, and vanquish both our fearsome leader and the Stalinist set. Just seven months before Election Day, Dimon has neither sought nor won a single delegate to the Democratic National Convention (should it ever take place) and the oppo research continues to pile up. Oh yea, and he had a massive coronary.

Still, the door’s never been completely closed, and perhaps the chill from the coronavirus has blown it ever so slightly open again. Maybe Joe Biden isn’t inevitable. And maybe, surely, we can do better than Andrew Cuomo.

What we need is a sign. And wouldn’t you know that it’s time for Dimon’s annual letter to shareholders, so often in the past a vehicle for sections of his presidential platform. And Dimon is back at work just in time to write it. Now, we’re told that “Mr. Dimon threw out his usual template for his annual letter—detailing the bank’s success and his views on public policy—to address the coronavirus crisis.” But aren’t those the same thing? Why, yes, yes they are.

“Entering into a crisis is not the time to figure out what you want to be,” Mr. Dimon wrote. “You must already be a well-functioning organization prepared to rapidly mobilize your resources, take your losses and survive another day for the good of all your stakeholders.”

Huh. Wonder what on earth he could be referring to.

“While conditions may sometimes be unusual and difficult, we are functioning smoothly,” he wrote.

Now, for a little compare and contrast.

“The country was not adequately prepared for this pandemic—however, we can and should be more prepared for what comes next,” he said.

He’s back! And just in time, because here’s the kind of advice the incumbent is getting.

“At some point soon, we’re going to have to make some real decisions about what kind of a calamity we are causing through the lock-down of our economy. I’m not saying we should be inattentive to the public health concern … But at some point, we have to worry about what we’re doing to our society, and what kind of economy we’re going to have after this is all over,” Moore, who has advised President Trump on the economy, told host John Catsimatidis…. “If we go much past May 1, we are facing a potential Great Depression scenario,” Moore said.

JPMorgan CEO James Dimon Says He Is Expecting ‘a Bad Recession’ [WSJ]
Economist Stephen Moore warns US could beheaded toward a Great Depression [N.Y. Post]


Jamie Dimon Candidate

It’s Not Jamie Dimon’s Fault He Can’t Help Sounding Presidential

Maybe all of you Bernie Bros should have thought about that before scaring him out of the race and leaving us with Joe Biden.

(Getty Images)

JPMorgan Trader Gets COVID At Highly Inconvenient And Embarrassing Time

A week before his colleagues are being ordered back to the office and at the same time that Jamie Dimon is extolling the plan’s virtues.

Jamie Dimon Candidate

Michael Bloomberg Thinking About Running For President Again As Jamie Dimon Continues To Solve All Of America’s Problems

The wrong billionaire is about to get mauled by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren in the primaries.


David Solomon Delivers Economic Reopening Advice President Wouldn’t Hear Even If He Had Been On The Call

“Rebuilding confidence in safety and security” is sort of the opposite of the president’s modus operandi.

By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Infected JPMorgan Employees Haven’t Spread COVID To Bank’s Bottom Line

Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.

(Getty Images)

Bonus Watch: JPMorgan Chase CEOs

Jamie Dimon’s one-time-only special retention bonus will definitely not happen again.

(Getty Images)

Man Who Made $31.5 Million Last Year Still Not A Fan Of Socialism

Comrade Sanders is threatening to erode society, by which Jamie Dimon presumably means his $1.7 billion (and growing!) fortune.