We may be on the precipice of the next Great Depression. Sixteen million people (and counting) find themselves in a “sudden black hole.” At the very least, we’re looking at a very long shadow over our economy. The people charged with keeping small businesses in business are not doing a particularly great job. But, you guys, there is good news. Not the Fed’s plan to print another $2.3 trillion to keep companies and cities and towns afloat, but someone feels like the Eagles just won the Super Bowl again.

“I feel better today,” [Jim] Cramer said.

And there’s more! Now that the stock market has recovered a good bit from the crash whose worst fallout she already (totally innocently, she swears) avoided, Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-New York Stock Exchange) is cashing out entirely. What a happy day!

She said that she and Sprecher, who is the chairman and CEO of Intercontinental Exchange, the company that owns the New York Stock Exchange, are selling off the individual shares not because she had to, but because she wanted to avoid further controversy.

Loeffler, who is the richest member of the Senate, said in a Wall Street Journal opinion page article announcing her decision that her stock holdings would be converted to mutual funds and exchange-traded funds by third-party advisors who handle her investments.

‘I feel better’ – Cramer praises Fed’s $2.3 trillion in loans to help businesses and governments [CNBC]
Sen. Kelly Loefller and her CEO husband will sell all individual stock shares after coronavirus trade furor [CNBC]
‘Sudden Black Hole’ for the Economy With Millions More Unemployed [NYT]
Fed’s Evan Sees Coronavirus Casting a Long Shadow on Economy [WSJ]
SBA Under Fire for Failing to Get Aid to Struggling Small Businesses [WSJ]
U.S. Stocks Log Best Week Since 1974 [WSJ]

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That is, if they’re still in a position to enjoy political salvation after today.

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And Now, Please Watch This Video Of Jim Cramer Weeping With With Inchoate Joy

May you ever love something as much as the Mad Dog of Wall Street loves his Eagles.