The COVID-19 epidemic alternately ravaging and igniting the markets has been something of a mixed bag for hedge funds. While it hasn’t been the unmitigated gift it initially appeared, the average hedge fund has certainly done better than the market averages—although being down less than the S&P 500 is hardly the perfect tonic for the alpha’s soul. There have been winners, of course, some of them significant winners, and there have been some surprising significant losers, such as Ray Dalio and David Harding. There have been casualties. There have been massive redemptions. They miss their friends and their private clubs in Mayfair. Even one hedge fund honcho who has done rather well for himself, Bill Ackman, thought about selling everything during a brief panic, for which he got a severe tongue-lashing from Stephanie Ruhle.

Speaking of tongue-lashings from Stephanie Ruhle, someone else who has rebuilt their life following disaster—old friend Anthony Scaramucci, who once presided over another roasting of Ackman—got one for a modest proposal for helping salve the hedge fund industry’s wounds.

“If people get too greedy, they could ruin it for everyone,” Ruhle suggested. “On Friday, you reached out to me and asked me, do I think that small hedge fund managers should be eligible for this program? And, in my opinion, I would say absolutely not….”

”All I was saying to you is there are small businesses that are in private capital and venture capital and they are tied to the multiplier effect of helping these businesses grow,” Scaramucci replied. “And so just because the business has a name ‘private equity’ or ‘hedge fund manager,’ doesn’t necessarily mean they are loaded with rich people. You have 25, 27, 28-year-olds that are starting businesses right now and, Stephanie, you scared the life out of some of them. They were calling me after your tweet saying, is this program not — am I not eligible for this?”

“But Anthony, a hedge fund didn’t have to shut down,” The MSNBC shot back. “You can set up a Bloomberg terminal in your house. A restaurant went to zero revenue and, last time I checked, nobody’s management fees are getting touched.”

Anthony Scaramucci defends hedge fund managers applying for small business loans [MSNBC]
MSNBC’s Ruhle smacks down ex-Trump official’s defense of hedge-funders scooping up stimulus dollars [Raw Story]
Anthony Scaramucci Isn’t Liking Lockdown. He’s Loving It. [II]
The Winning And Losing Hedge Funds Of The March Pandemic [Forbes]
Multi-strategy hedge funds outperformed peers as market plunged [Reuters]
Hedge Funds’ Defensiveness Finally Pays Off [WSJ]
Elliott hedge fund gains in March, up 2.2% for year: client update [Reuters]
Bridgewater’s Main Hedge Fund Loses About 20% in Quarter [Bloomberg]
Quant pioneer Winton suffers in coronavirus-driven sell-off [FT]
PointState Hedge Fund Has $2 Billion Estimated Withdrawals [Bloomberg]
Hedge fund managers really miss Mayfair: ‘Money is money, but it’s not the same [FN]
Coronavirus Had Ackman Consider Liquidating Portfolio [Bloomberg]

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