Since there’s no actual basketball (or anything else sporting, aside from Taiwanese baseball) to watch, many people have spent those hours watching Netflix’s excruciatingly long retelling of the already well-told saga of the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls. As even modern filmmakers are unable to make a 10-hour documentary about a single season of a single team, however great, this mandate expanded into a career retrospective for Michael Jordan, which inevitably turns to Jordan’s famous comment about the 1990 Senate race in his home state of North Carolina between Democrat Harvey Gantt and racist Jesse Helms: “Republicans buy sneakers, too.

Jamie Dimon knows how Jordan feels, and not only because he is a nominal Democrat who probably would have voted for President Trump’s reelection had things gone differently in his nominal party’s primaries. As Jordan no doubt abhorred Helms’ white supremacism, Dimon abhors bitcoin. He has said he’s “not interested” in it, that it will “eventually blow up” and “won’t end well,” that it “has no actual value,” that is “is worth nothing,” that people who trade it are “stupid.”

Well, Dimon might also say, given the steps his bank has taken vis-à-vis bitcoin & co., “stupid people have money, too.” Tall, identical, insufferable stupid people, at that.

JPMorgan Chase & Co. has taken on two well-known bitcoin exchanges, Coinbase Inc. and Gemini Trust Co., as banking customers, according to people familiar with the matter, the first time the bank has accepted clients from the cryptocurrency industry…. The accounts were approved in April, and transactions are just starting to be processed, the people said…. JPMorgan’s services don’t extend to any bitcoin or cryptocurrency-based transactions. The firms handle those themselves….

Coinbase and Gemini had to go through a long vetting process to get JPMorgan’s approval, the people said. What separates the exchanges from others in the space is the degree to which they have become regulated entities. The fact that both are regulated by multiple parties played a big part in the approval process.

JPMorgan Extends Banking Services to Bitcoin Exchanges [WSJ]

Related

jamie-dimon-bitcoin

Jamie Dimon Gives Bitcoin Some Free Publicity

“Bitcoin will eventually blow up. It’s a fraud. It’s worse than tulip bulbs and won’t end well.”

By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Infected JPMorgan Employees Haven’t Spread COVID To Bank’s Bottom Line

Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.

jamie-dimon-bitcoin

JPMorgan Places Child In Charge Of Childish Cryptocurrencies

Oliver Harris may not have to shave yet, but he’s Jamie Dimon’s new pointman on matters blockchain.

munch-scream-bitcoin2

JPMorgan Twists The Knife In Bitcoin

First Jamie Dimon trashed it, now JPMorgan's top quant.

(Getty Images)

Winklevii Doing Everything They Can To Suck The Fun Out Of Bitcoins

Do your metaphorical manipulation of your metaphorical currencies on another metaphorical exchange.

By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

(Earnings) Season’s Greetings

Nothing is f*cked, dude.