October 18, 2021
If Ever A Man Needed The Consoling Companionship Of A Piano-Playing Pig

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If Ever A Man Needed The Consoling Companionship Of A Piano-Playing Pig

Phil Falcone is that man, and now is that time.
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It’s been a difficult few years—a difficult decade, really—for Phil Falcone. He lost his hedge fund, his dream of a wireless empire, his first post-hedge fund passion project. There have been tax troubles, debt troubles, legal trouble, trouble with the help. Not to mention some significant professional trouble, in the form of an activist hedge fund (oh, the irony) seeking to take Falcone’s second post-hedge fund passion project over and fire him.

But then, it looked like he’d turned things around. After agreeing to take no bonus until he tripled HC2’s share price and, going against his pugilistic instincts, striking a deal with his nemesis to exchange board seats for his job, Falcone looked safe. But there apparently was no such deal, and as such there will be no bonuses, and all Falcone has left is one seriously pissed off musical pig.

HC2 Holdings, Inc…. announced today its Board of Directors has appointed Wayne Barr, Jr. as interim Chief Executive Officer. Mr. Barr succeeds Philip A. Falcone, effective immediately…. “At the same time, we also want to thank Phil for his contributions to HC2,” added Mr. Glazer. “Phil helped build HC2 over the past six years, acquiring undervalued assets and growing them under the HC2 umbrella. He has set the stage for HC2 to succeed in its next chapter. We wish him all the best in his future endeavors.”

The good news is, there is $600 per week in extra unemployment benefits, for a little while longer, anyway.

HC2 Holdings Announces Executive Management Change [press release]

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The Only Thing That Keeps Phil Falcone Up At Night Is Counting All The Money He's Going To Make Off Of LightSquared

From outward appearances, the past couple years have been a stressful time for Phil Falcone. After making billions of dollars for himself and for his investors on subprime, the Harbinger Capital Partners founder provoked the ire of many a client by tying up a good chunk of their money in a wireless start-up called LightSquared (a company the Federal Communications Commission is no fan of, due to the fact that it reportedly interferes with GPS devices used on land, sea, and in outer space), by borrowing $113 million from a gated fund in order to pay personal taxes, and by only allowing certain investors (Goldman Sachs) to get out while freezing redemptions for others and then telling them they could leave if they found some else to pick up their stake. Assets under management at Harbinger have dropped $23 billion, from a peak of $26 billion. For a variety of reasons, the Securities and Exchange commission wants to see him banned from the industry. A worried Bloomberg News reporter recently revealed he has a problem with pit stains ("[his] shirt appeared darker under the arms in his office last month"), which wouldn't pose an issue were his shirt supply not dwindling rapidly ("One place Falcone is visiting less frequently is Domenico Vacca, the New York boutique where suits retail for $3,900 and shirts $490, according to a person with knowledge of his purchases. He orders every four or five months [now] compared with every two or three months between 2006 and 2009"). For all these reasons and more (like, say, a sensitive and highly-strung pig who is not happy), some people might assume that Falcone would at best be in deep contemplative mode regarding how things got this far at worst be freaking the fuck out, particularly over the possibilities that 1) the SEC is going to file civil fraud charges and 2) if LightSquared doesn't pan out, he's going to lose a whole lot of money. Those people, however, would be wrong. Not only is he not at all worried that his passion project won't work out ( “I am not losing sleep on this -- why would I lose sleep?” he asked Bloomberg), but he dares anyone to come up with a reason for why he's not going to make $20+ billion on this thing. “This is not for the faint of heart,” Falcone said. “I’ve never looked at it as having $4 billion or $25 billion as defining Philip Falcone. But who’s to say I won’t get back to $25 billion?” What? It could happened. You don't know. Falcone Waits for Icahn Doubling Down on Network [Bloomberg]

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Phil Falcone Is Turning His Life Around

To put it lightly, the last couple years have been a rather dark time for Phil Falcone. Though his woes are too numerous to mention in full, they include: the adversity he's faced in getting people to believe in LightSquared; his unbelievably pissy investors, who still aren't over the time he borrowed $113 million from a gated fund to pay personal taxes, or offered to pay out redemptions in illiquid LightSquared equity; the Securities and Exchange Commission, which wants him banned from the industry for life; the woman who once offered a respite from it all, who now won't even come out of her room when she knows he's home; and, of course, the plunging returns in his once highly profitable hedge fund. It would be enough to make a grown man say 'Fuck, it. I'm done.' Put a few things in a sack, tie it to the blade of a hockey stick, and hitchhike back to Minnesota. But Phil didn't do that and now? After a merciless storm of shit that felt like it would never ease up? After long days of investors and regulators breathing down his neck and nights of having to pound on the front door because he was accidentally purposely locked out of the house? The tide feels like it's turning for Philip Falcone. Beleaguered hedge fund honcho Phil Falcone’s big bet on his own publicly traded entity, Harbinger Group, is helping to lift his troubled hedge fund, Harbinger Capital Management, out of the deep end. Falcone’s flagship fund posted returns of 10.6 percent in July and a whopping 28 percent gain in June. Of course, he's still down 5.8 percent year-to-date, and the the director of the SEC's division of enforcement wants hedge fund graduate schools to use Harbinger as a case study during the unit on "how to operate a hedge fund unlawfully," but tonight? Tonight he tells Lisa to treat herself to something nice. Tonight he tells Wilbur to pull the baby grand out of the closet, where it's sat untouched for months. Tonight his key works in the lock. Tonight we dance. Phil Helps Himself [NYP]

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LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create “convenient connectivity for all." But those of you who've been keeping up know that to one man, it's so much more. That man, of course, being hedge fund manager Phil Falcone. LightSquared is his dream. His baby. His world. His everything. And, because he has poured his heart, soul, and firm's money into LightSquared, it is also the thing that stands to make or break Harbinger Capital. Success will mean billions for Falcone and his investors. Failure will mean Wilbur Falcone selling her eggs to a barren couple willing to pay top dollar for the DNA of a blue-eyed classically trained singer with an IQ of 150 and legs like Tina Turner. Unfortunately, things have not been going so well for LightSquared. The yachting community worries that GPS interference caused by LS will result in boats getting lost at sea. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says LightSquared“may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses.” The FAA put out a study that estimates LS could “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” The only person defending the thing (besides Phil) is Karl Rove. Meanwhile, the SEC wants to see Falcone banned from the industry, Bloomberg News has put a reporter on the "Phil Falcone Pit Stains" beat, and his investors, for the most part, despise him for petty reasons that no rational adults would ever get upset about, like borrowing $113 million from a gated fund in order to pay personal taxes and tying up much of their capital in a side project building walkie-talkies that might not pan out on account of the growing opinion that it might kill a few people. At this time, a lesser man might decide to cut his losses and/or look within and say "Maybe my investors aren't the problem, maybe I'm the problem." Phil Falcone is no such man. He's figured out a few things and what they boil down to is that his impatient, pissy investors are what is standing in the way of LightSquared soaring, which it will, when it is ready. And if those pricks won't agree to stick around for an investment time horizon of inifinty, he'll find people who will. Harbinger Capital Partners' Philip Falcone, speaking at the SALT hedge-fund conference Wednesday in Las Vegas, hinted at an initial public offering, CNBC's Kate Kelly reported. "Harbinger is actually considering getting more permanent capital," Falcone said, according to Kelly, who said it suggests a potential IPO. "I'm moving toward a more permanent capital vehicle. We need to focus more on control," Falcone said, according to Kelly. No one said going from not having the cash to cover taxes to $25 billion was going to be easy. Harbinger's Falcone hints at potential IPO -CNBC [MarketWatch] Update: Falcone claims to have no idea what CNBC is talking about (asking Fox Business, "What the fuck would I IPO?")