Skip to main content

The rich truly are different. Most of us will never get to live out the more audacious of our childhood dreams, especially when those dreams are of the truly once-in-a-lifetime variety, like buying the baseball team we grew up rooting for. Not Steve Cohen: He gets to live out that dream (at least) twice in less than a year.

“I am excited to have reached an agreement with the Wilpon and Katz families to purchase the New York Mets,” Cohen said in a statement released by the team.

And he’s not the only one who’s excited. The guy who just seven months ago was pinky-swearing that Cohen would not only never be allowed to buy the Mets, but would never be allowed to buy any other team ever, and who may well right now be twisting arms and threatening the release of Orchids of Asia videos to line up seven votes against Cohen to sink the deal can't wait, either.

“I think that a change in ownership at the Mets is an opportunity to make that franchise as strong as it can possibly be, and I think over the long haul it’ll be something that will be good for the game,” commissioner Rob Manfred said during an online event hosted by the Hofstra University’s business school.

Well, let’s do what no one should ever do and take Rob Manfred at his word. Beyond simply reaching an agreement to buy his favorite team, what do you think Steve Cohen is most excited about? Meaningful games in September? October? (Not this October, of course, but future Octobers.) Turning the Mets into the Astros, black edge and all? Winning a dozen straight World Series? Signing D.J. LeMahieu away from the Yankees, and then signing every other free agent their crosstown rivals want as well? Magnanimously inviting fair-weather fraud Alex Rodriguez to join him in the owner’s box?

Nonsense: He’s definitely most excited about taking the Wilpons’ insistence on retaining a 5% stake in the team and using it against them. Maybe moving their parking spot to the furthest corner of Lot E, or under the Whitestone Expressway and then hiring an ornithologist to maintain a large flock of fecally-proficient pigeons immediately above it? Calling them in for the partnership meeting when he votes his 95% in favor of ending the Mets’ broadcasting deal with SNY, which the Wilpons are pathetically retaining? Or returning the favor—and getting some of his $2.45 billion back—with a capital call at the earliest opportunity?

Steve Cohen finalizes record deal to purchase Mets [Thornton/N.Y. Post]
Steve Cohen Agrees to Buy the Mets, Again [NYT]
Rob Manfred sees great potential in Mets sale to Steve Cohen [N.Y. Post]



Steve Cohen Back In The Game

He can’t quit the Mets and apparently they can’t quit his billions.

Getty Images

Steve Cohen Buying The Mets! (And Also ?)

How long we have waited for this day.


Steve Cohen: Glutton For Punishment

He must really want to own the Mets to agree to another round of “exclusive negotiations” with the Family Wilpon.

Getty Images

Taste For Black Edge No Obstacle To Buying The Mets

Rob Manfred sees nothing unusual or untoward about the Steve Cohen era in Flushing.

Getty Images

Leave Steve Cohen Alone You Monsters

The Big Guy’s Twitter account was just about the only good thing to come out of 2020 and now you’ve ruined it.