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The excitement is building at 383 Madison Avenue. JPMorgan Chase staffers have been slowly returning to their temporary headquarters for months now, but for the first time since March, some of them—namely, senior sales and trading officials, will be required to leave their socially-isolated home setups and return to midtown. This is very, very important, according Jamie Dimon.

Work output was particularly affected on Mondays and Fridays, according to findings discussed by Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon in a private meeting with Keefe, Bruyette & Woods analysts…. “The WFH lifestyle seems to have impacted younger employees, and overall productivity and ‘creative combustion’ has taken a hit,” KBW’s Brian Kleinhanzl wrote in a Sept. 13 note to clients, citing an earlier meeting with Dimon.

So momentous was the decision that it even earned an attaboy from Dimon nemesis Donald Trump, who should probably have been focused on things in New York on that particular day.

Now, it’s probably unfair to ask how things are going, since the “get back in here” edict doesn’t go into effect until Monday. Nope, it’s definitely unfair. But it’s such a big deal, such a landmark in our recovery from the coronavirus pandemic, that we just can’t help ourselves. So, Jamie, how are things going?

JPMorgan Chase & Co. sent some of its Manhattan workers home this week after an employee… tested positive for Covid-19….

Not great, but it was someone in retail banking or asset management or corporate, right? A secretary or mailroom guy? At worst a security guard or janitor? Definitely not one of the people the bank was going to start making come in next week?

JPMorgan Chase & Co. sent some of its Manhattan workers home this week after an employee in equities trading tested positive for Covid-19…. News of the infection, on the fifth floor of the company’s 383 Madison Ave. building, was communicated to employees on Sept. 13, said the person, who asked not to be identified discussing information that isn’t public.

Oh, so, all of three days after the edict, and more or less at the same exact moment that Dimon was telling KBW how critical it was to get everyone back together and breathing on each other in the name of productivity and “creative combustion”? We’re calling this off, right? Important as creative whatever-you-call it is and all? Because this is really not a great look.

A JPMorgan spokesman told The Times in a statement, “We’ve been managing individual cases across the firm over the course of the last few months and following appropriate protocols when they occur.”

JPMorgan Send Some Traders Home After Worker Gets Covid-19 [Bloomberg]
This Isn’t Just JPMorgan’s Problem [DealBook]
At JPMorgan, Productivity Falls for Staff Working at Home [Bloomberg]


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Man Who Made $31.5 Million Last Year Still Not A Fan Of Socialism

Comrade Sanders is threatening to erode society, by which Jamie Dimon presumably means his $1.7 billion (and growing!) fortune.

Jamie Dimon, chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase(Getty Images)

JPMorgan Disinvites 100 More People From 270 Park Demolition Party

The new asset management offices will feel even more spacious.

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Junior JPMorgan Chasers Urged To Grind Themselves To Dust To Pay For Jamie Dimon’s Latest Bonus And Also Find Themselves

Both of which are completely unnecessary for purpose, but apparently necessary to maintaining Wall Street’s culture or something.

By World Economic Forum (Flickr: The Global Financial Context: James Dimon) [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Firing Watch ’22: Jamie Dimon Is Itching To Make An Example Of You Anti-Vaxxers

Stand in the way of his forcing people back to the office, get canned.

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New JPMorgan ETF Robot May Not Be Cool, But It Is Cheap

J.D. & co. are betting that’ll be enough to keep the twenty- and thirty-somethings rolling in to their local chase branch.