In his precocious 22 years of life, Jacob Wohl has tried his hand at a lot of things, and hasn’t proven particularly good at any of them. The self-appointed teenage hedge fund guru has been called a “child prodigy who has eclipsed Mozart” by his, uh, lawyer? business partner? Jack Burkman. But since we and the rest of the world made his acquaintance, Wohl has been a failed National Futures Association member, a failed hedge fund human resources executive and marketing maestro, a failed recount-stopper, and a failed private investigator.
At last, however, after all of those setbacks, Wohl and Burkman have, at last, found something he’s good at: Voter suppression. Having failed to destroy Robert Mueller, Pete Buttigieg, Anthony Fauci and Elizabeth Warren with made-up tales of titillating sexual impropriety—all of which undoubtedly bear more on the mores and mindsets of their authors than on their intended victims—the two seem to have set up a little robocalling operation, warning recipients—primarily people of color in at least five states—that if they voted, they’d be entered into a secret database that would be used to match them to outstanding arrest warrants and credit card debt. And we know that they allegedly succeeded at this beyond any and all expectations set by their previous follies because they’ve now been indicted for it.
Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel announced the charges, which include intimidating voters and conspiracy to violate election law…. “We’re all well aware of the frustrations caused by the millions of nuisance robocalls flooding our cell phones and landlines each day, but this particular message poses grave consequences for our democracy and the principles upon which it was built,” Nessel said in the release on Thursday. “Michigan voters are entitled to a full, free and fair election in November and my office will not hesitate to pursue those who jeopardize that.”