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After the horrors of the beginning of last week, its end was filled with all manner of mirthful delight: There was karmic comeuppance aplenty, a display of exceptional bad taste on several levels, and legal confirmation of what anyone who’s ever had some sad cold cuts and wilted lettuce upon it has long known. And still, nothing gave us a stronger dose of the only cure this side of whisky known to science for combatting microbial melancholy that a short Twitter exchange involving Mike Novogratz.

In addition to being a devotee of matters cryptocurrent, the former Fortress Investment Group is also a social justice warrior with a bit of a pugilistic temperament. And Novogratz was not happy with Coinbase chief Brian Armstrong’s proclamation that there’s no room for activism in the arena of fake currencies.

This being Twitter, even the most anodyne statement of personal principle could not help but attract bad-faith hypothetical harangues, and boy oh boy did this one. And, incredibly, Novogratz was ready with what was, if possible, and even more ridiculous response.

That’s right, philanthropic organizations of the world: When bitcoin is worth 10 times what it is currently, and five times as much as it has ever been, and two-and-a-half times as much as he promised it would be two years ago, Mike Novogratz—who, quite frankly, has been a bit surprised by how volatile an intangible asset with practically no practical value has proven, but who did not have to spend any of his on dinner by dint of his first correct positive prediction in recent memory—will be looking for places where his extremely tax-unfriendly imaginary billions can do the most good. Factor it in to your long-term planning now.



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