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You might have assumed, given Goldman Sachs’ recent results and even more recent elevations to the pantheon that David Solomon’s solemn pledge to transform Wall Street’s most elite and sought-after bank into something much more pedestrian and forgettable was mere posturing for these populist times, a bit of marketing behind which Goldman could keep doing what it has always done. I mean, sure, there are those distasteful Buick-linked credit cards, but Solomon hasn’t done anything really drastic yet, and perhaps the more vulgar blows could be softened with a bit of discernment and selectivity.

Nope: D.J. D-Sol is dead serious, to the point of outsourcing all of that to the least discerning and selective folks imaginable.

Stripe, which processes payments for millions of online businesses and e-commerce platforms, will soon give its customers the option of offering insured, interest-bearing bank accounts, debit cards and other cash-management services. These products aren’t meant for consumers. Rather, they are designed for the merchants and vendors that do business with Stripe’s customers…. Shopify Balance accounts will be held at Memphis, Tenn.-based Evolve Bancorp Inc., but Stripe is also partnering with Goldman in the U.S. and with Citigroup and Barclays PLC internationally to store and move customer funds.

Ah, yes, why aspire to be Morgan Stanley when you could aim so much lower?

“If you are a Goldman Sachs or a Citi or one of these firms, you are watching the fact that new businesses live their lives online,” said John Collison, Stripe’s co-founder and president. “For the partner banks we’re working with, our intent for it is to be a shockingly effective customer-acquisition channel for them where they end up with many, many more customers.”

Just set up a storefront and start handing out toasters already.

Stripe to Offer Banking Services in Deal With Goldman Sachs, Citigroup [WSJ]


[Public domain] via Wikimedia Commons

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[Public domain] via Wikimedia Commons

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[Public domain] via Wikimedia Commons

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How do you say, "low six-month fix" in emojis? Helar Lukats [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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