If the reports are to be believed, Donald Trump will soon need not only a new banker, but a whole new bank, as Deutsche Bank has apparently decided it’s eaten more than enough shit and bad loans on behalf of a failed insurrectionist, would-be dictator and hopeless casino operator. Still, they’ve had some good times together over the last two-plus decades, the Germans and the America Firsters, right? Had some laughs, done some deals? Why not let’s do one more, for old time’s sake, and before Merrick Garland or Preet Bharara get a chance to weigh in?

Deutsche Bank AG agreed to pay more than $100 million to settle criminal and civil charges that it bribed foreign officials and manipulated the market for precious-metals futures through a trading tactic known as spoofing…. “While we cannot comment on the specifics of the resolutions, we take responsibility for these past actions, which took place between 2008 and 2017,” Deutsche Bank spokesperson Dan Hunter said in a statement….

Two Deutsche Bank traders, Cedric Chanu and James Vorley, were convicted in September of manipulating prices for gold and silver contracts.

Deutsche Bank Reaches $100 Million Deferred-Prosecution Deal [Bloomberg]

Related

By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Judges Say Prosecutors Can Spoof Spoofing Probes

At least, they say no one can question whether they’re doing it, which is just as good.

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Prosecutors Successfully Spoof Spoofer To Prison

And even more successfully cite the specter of reefer madness.

By Federal Bureau of Prisons (http://www.bop.gov/locations/index.jsp) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Probation Officials: Sure, Spoofing Is Illegal, But, Like, Not That Illegal

Certainly not prison illegal, really, if you think about it.

(Getty Images)

If Treasurys Spoofing Exists, The Authorities Are Not OK With It

Of course, they’ll have a hell of a time proving it, but they just want to make themselves clear.

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Cy Vance May Be The Only Person Keeping New York Deutsche Bankers Busy

Please rise and raise your right hands and prepare to explain everything everyone named “Trump” ever said to you.

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Disappointed Regulator Outsources More Of Deutsche Bank’s Anti-Money Laundering To KPMG

It’s almost as if five years of stern warnings and meaningful shakes of the head haven’t gotten through yet.

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Today’s Installment Of ‘Bad News At Deutsche Bank’

In fairness, a fine at the end of a U.S. criminal inquiry may actually be the best news the Germans have heard in months.