Hedge FundsHedge Fund CEO Announces To Staff That He Was Making Too Many Decisions, Pledges To Stop Making So Many DecisionsBy Thornton McEnery
CommoditiesIs Trading This Market A Waking Nightmare? At Least Cocaine Is About To Be Cheaper!By Thornton McEnery
Goldman SachsGoldman Sachs Interns Want 8 Hours Of Sleep A Night And Use Their Mom's Netflix Login But Don't Want Weed To Be LegalBy Thornton McEnery
Hedge FundsArea Lawyer Will Apply What She Learned Representing Ken Griffin To Senior Market Oversight Role At CFTCBy Thornton McEnery
Market NewsWeWork Takes A More Holistic And Forward-Thinking View Of Its Consciousness Regarding The IPO ProcessBy Thornton McEnery
He's Elon Musk and You're NotElon Musk Would Like It Entered Into The Legal Record That He Doesn't Know What "Pedo" MeansBy Thornton McEnery
Market NewsMan Who Lost To Vanilla Ice On "Dancing With The Stars" Attempts To Quell Oil Market Fears Of Sectarian War In Middle eastBy Thornton McEnery
Private EquitySoftBank And WeWork Have Some Kinky Thing Going And It's Weird To WatchBy Thornton McEnery
Hedge FundsLeon Cooperman Wants Those Private Equity Rascals To Knock It Off With The NonsenseBy Thornton McEnery
IPOIPO Literally Built On Smiles Tanks On Listing, WeWork IPO Somehow Still Apparently HappeningBy Thornton McEnery
BanksLayoff Watch '19: Jay Powell Is A Cuck, So 600 People Are Going To Stop Talking To ChuckBy Thornton McEnery
Activist InvestorsAT&T Already Playing Checkers With Dark Lord Of Chess Paul SingerBy Thornton McEnery
NewsMartin Shkreli Is Suing An Investor For Fraud...From Prison, Because He Has Been Convicted Of Defrauding Said InvestorBy Thornton McEnery
Private EquityWeWork Now Offering IPO Investors A 50% Discount On Pretending That WeWork Is A Real CompanyBy Thornton McEnery
NewsBill Dudley Would Like To Clarify That He Meant Jay Powell Should F Donald Trump With Obvious SubtletyBy Thornton McEnery
BanksGuy In Charge Of Deutsche Bank's Future Reportedly Decides His Future Is Not At Deutsche BankBy Thornton McEnery
Private EquityMasa Son Is Down $600 Million On His Uber Investment, Because Art Is PainBy Thornton McEnery
BanksDeutsche Bank CEO Makes Good On Pledge To Piss Away 15% Of His Comp By Investing It In Deutsche Bank StockBy Thornton McEnery
Goldman SachsUsurper David Solomon Finally Frees Himself Of The True Heir To The Goldman Sachs ThroneBy Thornton McEnery
Market NewsMarkets Considering Possibility That Escalating Tariffs Between Two Largest Global Economies Are Indeed BadBy Thornton McEnery
TechsanitySilicon Valley CEOs Are Letting Employees Expense Their Trips To Burning Man And Tell Us Again About Interest Rates Being Too HighBy Thornton McEnery
Hedge FundsRay Dalio Is Losing Money Because Everyone Else Is Too Stupid To Realize That We're In A Recession, Says Ray DalioBy Thornton McEnery
NewsBill Dudley Gently Suggests That Jay Powell Pivot The Fed Towards More Of A "F#ck Trump Hard" Monetary PolicyBy Thornton McEnery
SummerDavid Solomon DJ'ed In The Hamptons And Made All The Young Finance Types Horny, Reports BloombergBy Thornton McEnery
Market NewsPresident Trump Totally Had Some Hot Summer Phone Chats This Summer, And No He Can't - Like - "Prove It"By Thornton McEnery
Market NewsTrump Asks Jamie, BriMo And Corbat "WTF Is Happening To My Market, You Guys?"By Thornton McEnery
NewsLarry Kudlow Calls CNBC To Let Them Know That Peter Navarro And Donald Trump Are Nutty Little FruitcakesBy Thornton McEnery
Hedge FundsNeri Oxman Sends Her Trophy Husband To Bail Out A Slumping Warren BuffettBy Thornton McEnery
TechUber Saves $200K On Balloons, Tacitly Admits To Shareholders It Was Spending $200K On BalloonsBy Thornton McEnery
Market NewsIf You're Trying To Pretend To Be Excited About China Trade Deal Rumors Again, Maybe Don't Look At The Yield CurveBy Thornton McEnery
White Collar CrimeNewly-Minted Investment Banker Charged With Old School Insider TradingBy Thornton McEnery
NewsAnthony Scaramucci Is Back To Thinking That Donald Trump Probably Shouldn't Be PresidentBy Thornton McEnery
NewsConvicted Sex Criminal And Alleged Financier Jeffrey Epstein Is Indisputably DeadBy Thornton McEnery
BanksRBC Capital Markets Rumored To Be Hard Passing On 50% Of Its Summer AssociatesBy Thornton McEnery
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