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January 29, 2023
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WeWork
Cryptocurrencies
Deutsche Bank
Banks
Hedge Funds
MBAs
Newsletter
Bonuses
Careers
Thornton McEnery
Articles From This Author
News
Farewell, Monsters
By Thornton McEnery
Cryptocurrencies
The Winkelvii Acquired A CryptoKitties-Based Startup Founded By Another Pair Of Identical Twins, And Those Are All Words We Just Typed
By Thornton McEnery
Hedge Funds
Dying Industry Pins Hope On Idiots Buying Into An Impossible Trade Deal
By Thornton McEnery
Market News
Area Stock Market Still Being Gaslit By Controlling Older Boyfriend
By Thornton McEnery
News
Lloyd Blankfein Attempts A Clapback Tweet, Ends Up With A Flaming Cooperman On His Hands
By Thornton McEnery
News
Jay Powell Takes Literal "Same Sh!t, Different Day" Approach To Today's Congressional Testimony
By Thornton McEnery
News
Liquidnet CEO Sued For Being Allegedly Overcurious About What His Female Employee "Does For Sex"
By Thornton McEnery
Goldman Sachs
More Senior Traders Are Taking Their Butter And Going Home* From Goldman Sachs
By Thornton McEnery
News
Guy Who Founded Uber Realizes He Owns Way Too Much Uber Stock
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
Good News, Single Ladies, Steve Schwarzman Owns Bumble Now
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
Despite Some Highs And Lows, The Love Affair Between Travis Kalanick And Saudi Money Is Still Going Strong
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
Masa Son's Masterwork Is A PowerPoint Presentation About WeWork That Will One Day Hang In The Louvre
By Thornton McEnery
FinTech
Robinhood, Which Is Not A Video Game For Trading Real Money, Has A Cheat Code That Allows Users To Get Infinite Money
By Thornton McEnery
Hedge Funds
Bill Ackman Is Back To Being A Real Tease
By Thornton McEnery
News
Uber's Quarterly Results Likely Causing Masa Son To Experience A Confusing Tumescence
By Thornton McEnery
News
Former McDonald's CEO Ironically Having It His Way After Acknowledging That He Was Lovin' It Up With An Underling
By Thornton McEnery
News
As Investors Flee, Ken Fisher Launches Bold "Some Of My Best Employees Are Women" Ad Campaign
By Thornton McEnery
News
Man Who Drank Tequila And Smoked Pot Barefoot On Company Jet Allegedly Thought Maternity Leave Was Paid Vacation
By Thornton McEnery
politics
Cranky Area Senior Is Writing Bitchy Letters To Politicians Again
By Thornton McEnery
Hedge Funds
WeWork Is The Kind Of Investment That Would Have Appealed To 2016 Bill Ackman, Says 2019 Bill Ackman
By Thornton McEnery
Hedge Funds
Ray Dalio Is Worried About The Global Economy [This Is New Content, Not A Rerun]
By Thornton McEnery
FinTech
Area Company With $4 Billion In Debt And Annual Losses Of $3 Billion Would Like To Sell You A Credit Card
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
UBS Sucks, Says UBS CEO Guy
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
JPMorgan Preparing To Become New York's Most Powerful Texas-Based Financial Institution
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
Marianne Lake's Destiny Is Now A Footrace
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy
By Thornton McEnery
politics
Desperate For Liberal Support, Democratic Nominee Tulsi Gabbard Meets With Wall Street Money Men At Anthony Scaramucci's Restaurant
By Thornton McEnery
IPO
After WeWork's Epic Buttfumble, SEC No Longer Curious How Snap IPO Happened
By Thornton McEnery
Earnings Reports
In These Chaotic Times, We Can Still Rely On Tesla To Post A Solid Quarterly Loss
By Thornton McEnery
politics
Leon Cooperman Leaning Into His New Life As A Human In-Kind Contribution To Elizabeth Warren's Presidential Campaign
By Thornton McEnery
News
Softbank Paying Adam Neumann $1.7 Billion To Just Please Stop Elevating The World's Consciousness
By Thornton McEnery
News
Masayoshi Son Ready To Bring His Total Investment In WeWork To $15 Billion...At An $8 Billion Valuation, Because YOLO
By Thornton McEnery
Goldman Sachs
SEC Increasingly Aware That Goldman Sachs Traders Are Deeply Desperate To Survive DJ D-Sol's Purge
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
Peer-Pressured Brian Moynihan Using High-Rolling Merrill Clients To Pretend To Experiment With No-Fee Trading
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
Frankenstein Reportedly Nearing Deal To Rescue His Monster At A Sub-$8 Billion Valuation
By Thornton McEnery
Goldman Sachs
Goldman Sachs Has Come Around To The Logic Of Not Paying People Goldman Sachs Salaries
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
It's Brian Moynihan's World, We're All Just Basking In His Sunshine
By Thornton McEnery
News
Ken Fisher Now $600 Million Less Concerned About Revealing What's In His Pants
By Thornton McEnery
Goldman Sachs
Goldman Sachs Dealing With A Third Quarter Hipster Hangover
By Thornton McEnery
rumors
Ken Fisher Reminds Investing Conference That The Only Thing He Hates More Than Annuities Is Ladies Knowing What's In His Pants
By Thornton McEnery
Goldman Sachs
Robinhood Now Daring Goldman Sachs Not To Acquire It
By Thornton McEnery
Market News
China Tells White House "Nice Stock Market You Got There, Would Be A Shame If You Got Mouthy And Something Were To Happen To It"
By Thornton McEnery
Market News
Don't EVEN Talk To Chuck Schwab About These Money-Losing Tech Stocks
By Thornton McEnery
General Electric
Larry Culp Bravely Willing To Let GE Employees Share The Pain Of GE's Turnaround, As Long As He's Not One Of Them
By Thornton McEnery
White Collar Crime
Area Senior Arrested For Keeping It Old School With His Ponzi Scheme
By Thornton McEnery
Private Equity
WeWork Asking Jamie Dimon "Why Stop Now, Baby?"
By Thornton McEnery
News
Elizabeth Warren Savagely Dominates Jacob Wohl, Finishing Him Off For Now
By Thornton McEnery
News
Jacob Rees-Mogg Reminds Britons That Crispin Odey Has Not Made Enough Money Engineering/Betting On Brexit
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
Credit Suisse Pretty Sure That The Economy Is Totally Getting A Semi Right Now
By Thornton McEnery
Banks
E*Trade Set To Announce New Commission-Based "100 Trades = 1 New Puppy" Consumer Product
By Thornton McEnery
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