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October 28, 2021

Thornton McEnery

Articles From This Author

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News

Farewell, Monsters

(Getty Images)
Cryptocurrencies

The Winkelvii Acquired A CryptoKitties-Based Startup Founded By Another Pair Of Identical Twins, And Those Are All Words We Just Typed

(Trump image courtesy Flickr user Gage Skidmore)
Hedge Funds

Dying Industry Pins Hope On Idiots Buying Into An Impossible Trade Deal

Larry Kudlow Returns
Market News

Area Stock Market Still Being Gaslit By Controlling Older Boyfriend

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News

Lloyd Blankfein Attempts A Clapback Tweet, Ends Up With A Flaming Cooperman On His Hands

Jay Powell Alpha
News

Jay Powell Takes Literal "Same Sh!t, Different Day" Approach To Today's Congressional Testimony

BullBalls
News

Liquidnet CEO Sued For Being Allegedly Overcurious About What His Female Employee "Does For Sex"

Goldman Sachs Butter
Goldman Sachs

More Senior Traders Are Taking Their Butter And Going Home* From Goldman Sachs

KalanickUberTotalRecall
News

Guy Who Founded Uber Realizes He Owns Way Too Much Uber Stock

Schwarzman Bumble
Private Equity

Good News, Single Ladies, Steve Schwarzman Owns Bumble Now

KalanicksArk
Private Equity

Despite Some Highs And Lows, The Love Affair Between Travis Kalanick And Saudi Money Is Still Going Strong

SonSoftBank
Private Equity

Masa Son's Masterwork Is A PowerPoint Presentation About WeWork That Will One Day Hang In The Louvre

TaylorSwiftPiggyBank
FinTech

Robinhood, Which Is Not A Video Game For Trading Real Money, Has A Cheat Code That Allows Users To Get Infinite Money

Hot rod Bill Ackman.
Hedge Funds

Bill Ackman Is Back To Being A Real Tease

Uber hindenburg
News

Uber's Quarterly Results Likely Causing Masa Son To Experience A Confusing Tumescence

John Parra/Getty Images
News

Former McDonald's CEO Ironically Having It His Way After Acknowledging That He Was Lovin' It Up With An Underling

Ken Fisher Stand-up
News

As Investors Flee, Ken Fisher Launches Bold "Some Of My Best Employees Are Women" Ad Campaign

Neumann Kalanick
News

Man Who Drank Tequila And Smoked Pot Barefoot On Company Jet Allegedly Thought Maternity Leave Was Paid Vacation

Leon Cooperman high
politics

Cranky Area Senior Is Writing Bitchy Letters To Politicians Again

Hot rod Bill Ackman.
Hedge Funds

WeWork Is The Kind Of Investment That Would Have Appealed To 2016 Bill Ackman, Says 2019 Bill Ackman

dalio-pill3
Hedge Funds

Ray Dalio Is Worried About The Global Economy [This Is New Content, Not A Rerun]

Uber hindenburg
FinTech

Area Company With $4 Billion In Debt And Annual Losses Of $3 Billion Would Like To Sell You A Credit Card

UBS human sacrifice
Banks

UBS Sucks, Says UBS CEO Guy

JPM Texas
Banks

JPMorgan Preparing To Become New York's Most Powerful Texas-Based Financial Institution

MarianneLake
Banks

Marianne Lake's Destiny Is Now A Footrace

SonSoftBank
Private Equity

The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy

Gabbard Mooch
politics

Desperate For Liberal Support, Democratic Nominee Tulsi Gabbard Meets With Wall Street Money Men At Anthony Scaramucci's Restaurant

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IPO

After WeWork's Epic Buttfumble, SEC No Longer Curious How Snap IPO Happened

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Earnings Reports

In These Chaotic Times, We Can Still Rely On Tesla To Post A Solid Quarterly Loss

CoopermanBulldog
politics

Leon Cooperman Leaning Into His New Life As A Human In-Kind Contribution To Elizabeth Warren's Presidential Campaign

WeWorkJerkOff
News

Softbank Paying Adam Neumann $1.7 Billion To Just Please Stop Elevating The World's Consciousness

wework masa son
News

Masayoshi Son Ready To Bring His Total Investment In WeWork To $15 Billion...At An $8 Billion Valuation, Because YOLO

SummerOfLloyd
Goldman Sachs

SEC Increasingly Aware That Goldman Sachs Traders Are Deeply Desperate To Survive DJ D-Sol's Purge

BriMo Unicorn
Banks

Peer-Pressured Brian Moynihan Using High-Rolling Merrill Clients To Pretend To Experiment With No-Fee Trading

wework masa son
Private Equity

Frankenstein Reportedly Nearing Deal To Rescue His Monster At A Sub-$8 Billion Valuation

GoldmanSachsButter
Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs Has Come Around To The Logic Of Not Paying People Goldman Sachs Salaries

BriMo Cant Lose
Banks

It's Brian Moynihan's World, We're All Just Basking In His Sunshine

Ken Fisher Stand-up
News

Ken Fisher Now $600 Million Less Concerned About Revealing What's In His Pants

Goldman Sachs Dress Code
Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs Dealing With A Third Quarter Hipster Hangover

Ken Fisher Stand-up
rumors

Ken Fisher Reminds Investing Conference That The Only Thing He Hates More Than Annuities Is Ladies Knowing What's In His Pants

Robinhood Marcus
Goldman Sachs

Robinhood Now Daring Goldman Sachs Not To Acquire It

WilburRossChina
Market News

China Tells White House "Nice Stock Market You Got There, Would Be A Shame If You Got Mouthy And Something Were To Happen To It"

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Market News

Don't EVEN Talk To Chuck Schwab About These Money-Losing Tech Stocks

GE penny
General Electric

Larry Culp Bravely Willing To Let GE Employees Share The Pain Of GE's Turnaround, As Long As He's Not One Of Them

Charles Ponzi, the Escoffier of financial crime, at work.
White Collar Crime

Area Senior Arrested For Keeping It Old School With His Ponzi Scheme

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Private Equity

WeWork Asking Jamie Dimon "Why Stop Now, Baby?"

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News

Elizabeth Warren Savagely Dominates Jacob Wohl, Finishing Him Off For Now

Rees-Mogg Odey
News

Jacob Rees-Mogg Reminds Britons That Crispin Odey Has Not Made Enough Money Engineering/Betting On Brexit

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Banks

Credit Suisse Pretty Sure That The Economy Is Totally Getting A Semi Right Now

e-trade puppy
Banks

E*Trade Set To Announce New Commission-Based "100 Trades = 1 New Puppy" Consumer Product