Banks

The bank’s newfound wokeness has apparently failed to penetrate the legal department.

Imagine thinking that bringing on a piece of Wells Fargo is a net-plus.

But not before drawing one last racial discrimination lawsuit therefrom.

$5.1 billion in fines demands a $174 million decrease in the comfort of millionaires.

Scared and confused hedge funds flock to Brian Moynihan’s comforting research-filled bosom.

Luckily for David Solomon, Bill Barr is super-busy destroying democracy these days.

Also there was something about being a coronavirus superspreader event or some such.

And like some of their bad apple brethren are thusly former Wells Fargo employees now.

You won’t need to worry about profits doubling once Marcus is in charge.

Citigroup, on the other hand, is still feeling under the weather.

So Jim Gorman wants to turn Morgan Stanley into Schwab.

And that doesn’t even take into account the QAnon guy.

True story.

A Goldman partnership will not only bring precedence, but also the wealth that others associate with it.

Several hundred of them on projects unrelated to JPMorgan Chase, but you’ve got to admire their gumption and ability to fill out forms.

Someone get Stephanie Cohen a set of hair clippers.

Hint: It didn’t have to look far.

Spoofing really is a magical affair.

Affirmative inaction beneficiary Charlie Scharf doesn’t understand why he only wants to hire white people.

It doesn’t stop the money laundering, of course, but that’s not really the goal, is it?

The rest merely need to come in a clean out their desks.

A week before his colleagues are being ordered back to the office and at the same time that Jamie Dimon is extolling the plan’s virtues.

It was a risk she could neither account for nor do anything about.

And if you’re a JPMorgan trader, it’s your job to keep him company.

Of course, Jane Fraser should remember what happened to the last Queen Jane.

Jamie Dimon’s not proud of it, but there it is.

Anyone can audit them, but there’s only one auditor they’re thinking about suing.

A font to fix it all.

At least, they say no one can question whether they’re doing it, which is just as good.

That’s how it’s supposed to work, right?

Mommy and Daddy in this case being China and the U.S.

Wait for a politically convenient moment, pay less.

The Swiss don’t believe in procrastinating.

Not a fan of Beijing’s heavy hand? No wealth management services for you!