Hedge Funds

That ended quickly.

It’s nowhere near big enough for his personality and grievances.

In fact, Mr. Neri Oxman thinks the whole thing is worth roughly $0.

The Wizard of the Westport Woods is becoming the new Dr. Doom.

Also: Bob Mercer even weirder and crazier than previously reported.

Argentina being Argentina and Sony’s disinterest in his ideas appear to have come as genuine shocks to the hedge fund manager.

Eight months from start to finish is a record even for Jeff Vinik.

With Dad’s approval, of course, until six or seven years after he’s dead.

Or was, back when people could and would still pay a quarter of a million bucks to get their kids into said college, for some reason.

Prepare your minds.

We kid! It’s three steps forward and only two back for gender balance at the Big Guy’s house.

You’d think it wouldn’t matter, given that both agree on the practical implications, but the hedge fund hopes the SEC sees it differently.

There’s still time, of course, but also a lot of ground to make up.

Part-time NFL owner David Tepper’s gonna be a part-time money manager for 15 lucky folks.

Darsana Capital Partners is gonna guess maybe about a third less? Whaddya think?

Congratulations to the Whitney Museum of American Art on retaining a brooding, sullen Ken Griffin as a board member.

OK, maybe a few other things went into it, but still.

Instead of gastrointestinal distress, Chipotle is now producing some solid returns for the Ack-man.

Either that or it’s skipped a generation, because his daughter’s down $2.5 million on Manhattan real estate this half-decade.

Samuel Barnett is not sure what the feds mean about "a decade of fraud."

The Lord of Cluckingham Manor is offended you’d think him so base.

Throwing $1 million every year for a decade at Harvard, Stanford, Yale and Princeton, but giving only half that to Brown and Columbia? That's just solid asset management.

Or, you know, just enjoy being a billionaire under that dome he’s about to extract from North Carolina taxpayers.

This one is something of an open high society secret, so you should be embarrassed not to know.

Two-plus years and $5 billion later, it’s finally happening.

Tower Research Capital's Mark Gorton will become chairman and let a newly-formed board handle things going forward, like reportedly laying of 50 engineers.

In fairness, Peter Nygard may be saving his best legal arguments to keep himself out of a Bahamian jail.

Leon Cooperman has concerns that a President Elizabeth Warren would close the stock market, or something.

Will Danny be back to make it a trilogy?

Baupost Group is as hot as a California wildfire.

All it took was a bit of patience and $100 million.

Everyone's least favorite activist investor is $3.2 billion certain that Ma Bell needs new leadership.

Church & Dwight is not quite filling its Magnum condoms.

Certainly enough (allegedly) to earn some breast meat on T-Day, if you catch my drift.