Hedge Funds

But the Archegos chief believed in himself until the very end.

Dov Charney’s courtroom calamities continue.

Which is bad news for Bill Hwang and the Archegos crew.

Actually, yea, that was a really stupid idea. Totally. Just, like, forget about it and stuff.

And he’d like the people half of whose money he’s lost to pay for it.

Then its elderly investors would be fine. As it happens, however….

The judge says: “12 years in jail.”

Preferably, before he retires this summer, even.

Investors with either of them are still in the red, but only one is still stockpiling scarlet ink.

But thanks for the soccer team, he guesses.

And now that he’s looking at Kroger, he sees something else he doesn’t like.

You won’t be seeing any future Herbalife-like crusades from Pershing Square anymore.

And it’s not afraid to go to Canada to find it.

Who’s willing to do what it takes to buy a marquee team from a disgraced Russian oligarch?

A good old-fashioned tenure fight.

It’s when bragging about it becomes Exhibit A.

Which filing also shows he’s got as much as $50 million in assets lying around.

Wartime dispatches from Russia, Ukraine and the CNBC studios.

It, like much else recently, didn’t go well for him.

Unsurprisingly, Gary Gensler’s idea of sensible securities regulation does not align with Uncle Carl’s.

The Elliott Management chief has a new way of getting his way.

Why is it only our pigs that he’s worried about, wonder the sausage egg McMuffin slingers.

Unless you are aiming for simultaneous knocks on the door from the FBI, SEC and CFTC. Then it’s fine.

It’s a question he can answer now!

He went to medical school once, Chris Kempczinski.

Dan Och would never have allowed this kind of thing to go on under his watch. Corruption on a lavishly grand scale, yes, but not overpaying a f*cking ski instructor.

Third Point was ice cold in January.

For one, she worked at Goldman Sachs. For another, she is a woman.

To mark the one-year anniversary of his humiliation, the Melvin Capital chief is launching the “I’ve Lost My Nerve” Fund.

Andreas Halvorsen is convinced this year is the one travel goes berserker. You know, just like he was last year.

Who doesn’t want to get paid $1.2 billion en route to losing $4 billion?

For his part, David Shaw just kicked back and enjoyed the fruits of a successful transition in style.

Sure, it settled the exact same allegations in the U.S. last year, but it’ll be damned if it has to do so again in the U.K. this one.

It also doesn’t care how big a pain-in-the-ass that might be for hedge funds.