Bridgewater Employees At Last Actually Working In Magical Forest
Bring on the wildebeests.
Hedge Funds
‘Billions’ Judge Is Clearly No Clotheshound
Closet infringement or no, this case is closed.
Steve Cohen Takes Gender Discrimination Off List Of Reasons Not To Let Him Buy Mets
Nothing to see here (anymore), Mr. Commissioner.
Pharma Accused Of Taking Break From COVID Vaccine Work To Give Former Hedge Fund Owner An Opportunity To Do A Little Insider Trading
That pause in selling Vaxart shares and increase in ownership ceiling sure was fortuitously timed for Armistice Capital, no?
Japanese Economy Ministry Making Totally Innocent, Non-Threatening Phone Calls To Foreign Toshiba Shareholders
It just wants to make sure they are sure they wanted to vote against management, and also that they’ve read the rules about acting in concert.
There’s A Lot To Love At Bridgewater Right Now
Assuming, that is, that you, like they, love mistakes.
How Should Steve Cohen Repay The Wilpons For A Decade Of Pettiness and Humiliation?
After paying them $2.45 billion, of course.
![By Klapi (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTgzNzIyNDg5ODIw/whitewalker.jpg)
Hedge Fund Managers Get Out Of Goddamned Miserable Hedge Fund Business
Echo Street’s managers do not like the people they were becoming.
Bridgewater May Be Paying Head Janitor More Than It Pays Head Of Investment Research
Assuming, that is, that the janitor is a man.
Look Who’s The 391st Richest Person In America
He’s not as rich as Carl Icahn yet, but Bill Ackman will almost certainly outlive him.
Jeffrey Epstein Pal Glenn Dubin Doesn’t Know Who This Other Epstein Buddy ‘Glen Dubin’ Is
Apologies to the Virgin Islands authorities, but in spite of the shared last name, he’s got no idea where to find him.
Spurned Spouses Can Be Real Sticklers For Quarantine Rules
Charles Stevenson knows what we’re talking about.
Hedge Fund Very Eager To Do Business With Very Incompetent Bank
We suppose it’s the really the least they could do.
Allegedly Sexual Deviant Crispin Odey Definitely A Racist, Ghoul
If we’re throwing around c-words, I can think of one to describe the hedge fund manager.
Nerds Send Kodak Shares Back On Lift Hill Part Of The Roller Coaster
D.E. Shaw has crunched the numbers and thinks the beleaguered company is worth something. Or, you know, maybe not.
Having Drained The Swamp, Mick Mulvaney Conscientiously Helps Fill It Back Up
Peace in Northern Ireland is apparently only a part-time job.
Ken’s Kwarantine Kamp Opens Kohler Location For Eager Interns
Who wouldn’t want to spend a global pandemic in rural Wisconsin?
Steve Cohen: Glutton For Punishment
He must really want to own the Mets to agree to another round of “exclusive negotiations” with the Family Wilpon.
Neiman Marcus Does Not Think Hedge Fund Manager Has Suffered Enough
Jail is not sufficient. $60 million and subordinated claims might be.
Hedge Funds Wonder If EU Might Like To Do Something About All The Front-Running Going On Under Its Watch
They know it’s unusual for the bloc to help hedgies, but come on.
Is Citadel Moving To Miami? A Dealbreaker Investigation
Ken Griffin’s suddenly got lots of places to stay in a city where Citadel has no office.
Send Steve Cohen Your Screenplays!
He knows some guys and gals in Hollywood. Owns them, in fact.
The Only Thing That Would Make This Better For Carl Icahn Is If He Could Actually Put The Padlocks On The Malls Himself
I mean, he lives in Florida, so maybe he can?
Marble Ridge Founder Won’t Have To Fight Criminal Charges, Run Hedge Fund Simultaneously
‘Cause he’s not gonna do the latter anymore.
Maybe Don’t Say ‘Maybe I Should Go To Jail’ On A Phone Call That Could Be Recorded When, You Know, Maybe You Should Go To Jail
I’m no lawyer but that just seems like a bad idea.
EU Not Just Going To Take U.K.’s, Hedge Funds’ Word On Things
Also, they’d like those hedge funds to become mutual funds, if they’re being honest.
Dan Loeb Doing Very Well Indeed With Company Ignoring Dan Loeb’s Advice
Third Point is taking this fight to Tokyo, having nearly doubled its money in New York.
Sophisticated Institutions Battle To See Whose Disingenuousness Is Most Sophisticated
In other words, whose pretense will most successfully sway a judge.
People Have Opinions On SEC Hedge Fund Secrecy Plan
Well, one opinion, really, stated hundreds and hundreds of times.
Indecent Assault Conviction Might Be Best Thing To Ever Happen To Odey Investors
There’s reason to think Crispin’s limited partners might be rooting against him.
Hedge Fund Finds Two Ways To Lose Money On Tesla
Non-recourse legal loans to those seemingly intent on undermining their legal claims are an even worse bet than a Tesla short.
Bridgewater Questioning Whether Ex-Co-CEO Ever Actually Read ‘Principles,’ Let Alone Her Employment Agreement
It’s going to have to check and recheck its machine to see how someone so unPrincipled suck through.
The Mackenzie-Childs Saucepan Calls The Silver Renaissance Teapot Black
Did a hedge fund manager learn a little too much from his erstwhile enemies?
Banging The Close Sure Sounds Like Fun
Was it just too much fun for a former hedge fund manager, or merely an honest mistake?
Champion Of Bridgewater’s ‘Family Atmosphere’ Just Realized It’s As Dysfunctional And Hypocritical As A Real Family
Eileen Murray’s not tolerating any dishonesty here.
RenTech Nerds, Geeks Still Calculating How To Make Their Funds Less Sh***y
Come on, guys: Chase Coleman and Larry Robbins have figured it out.
Hedge Fund Managers Forced To Find Creative New Way To Avoid Paying Taxes
The loophole in the carried-interest loophole is closed, for now.
House-Flipping No More Successful These Days For Cliff Asness Than Hedge-Fund Managing
Our favorite disgruntled would-be Batman just took a bath in a Miami Beach infinity pool.
Seth Klarman Thinks Investors Are Childish Enough Without The Fed’s Milk And Cookies And Cooing
They’ll probably just shrug off the impending economic cliff the president and Congress seem intent on driving off.
Brexit- And Chicken-Loving Hedge Fund Manager Charged With Sexual Assault
Looks like Crispin Odey’s got something else in common with Boris Johnson.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
Judge Less Interested In Negotiating Than College Admissions Fraudsters
‘You need to go to jail’ is probably not what Manuel Henriquez was hoping to hear.
As Far As We (And Presumably Steve Cohen) Are Concerned, It Took Two-And-A-Half Years Longer Than It Should Have To Raise $10 Billion
We all know this milestone should have been passed the minute Point72 opened to outside investors.
Hedge Fund Manager’s Dog Travels In Higher Style Than He Does
British Airways is a perfectly nice airline, but this is ridiculous.
In Honor Of Herman Cain, Former Hedge Fund Manager Declares War On COVID Almost Over
We’re sure the former presidential candidate would agree, had COVID not taken his ability to continue breathing.
Hedge Fund Manager Fails In Effort To The Renege On Charitable Deal With Ex-Wife
The inscrutable, incomprehensible and completely unnecessary legal battle between the former Cooper-Hohns comes, after much time and expense, to its meaningless and inevitable conclusion.
Ken Griffin Uncharacteristically Agrees To Share Piece Of Property With Other Rich People
He’s probably got a private elevator at 220 CPS, so it’s OK.
Paul Singer Ready To Burn PG&E To The Ground To Get His $250 Million
A promise made over the charred and smoldering remains of California is still a promise.
Geoffrey Berman Sure Was Bad At Turning Over Exculpatory Evidence
Luckily for (at least) one convicted hedge fund fraudster.