Hedge Funds
Who’s Administering The Enemas Now, Danny?
Bill Ackman and his new buddy are holding the tube this time.
![By Federal Bureau of Prisons (http://www.bop.gov/locations/index.jsp) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE1MDM0NTExMzI0/prison.jpg)
Dan Kamensky Couldn’t Go To The Office So Instead He’s Going To Jail
The pandemic lockdown is at least partly to blame for that rather unfortunate instant message.
Goofballs Still Burning Melvin Capital, Et. Al.
GameStop may not be selling weed or ice cream or dog food, but it and its ilk are certainly selling a lot of stock.
Ken Griffin Not Willing To Share His Secrets Even To Punish Those Who (Allegedly) Stole Them
If GSA Capital can’t unsee Citadel’s code, can a judge?
Right-Wing Radio Host Wants To Know Where Florida-Based Hedge Fund Gets Off Imposing Marxist Ideas Like ‘Shareholder Value’ On His State
What do these West Palm Beach billionaires know about the Sunshine State, anyway?
Oh, Look, Another Doomed Proposal To Kill The Carried-Interest Loophole
A tale as old as time. Or, at least, as old as this website.
Paul Singer Reinvents Himself As A Whimsical Stationary Seller
What can he say? The guy just loves some cute and colorful bunting.
Hedge Fund Manager Who Said ‘I’m Going To Jail’ Is In Fact Going To Jail
But at least he’s not going to jail for 18 months.
Paul Singer Swears He’s Definitely Not Thinking About Deposing Jack Dorsey With These 3.5 Million New Shares He Just Bought
He just thinks, like, Twitter’s a great business on the right track, which is definitely something he says about lots of companies he’s invested in.
Steve Cohen Invites Staff To Enjoy A Little Sunshine After Their Next Violent Dressing Down
Which will also be virtual, natch.
Hedge Fund Manager Spent Legitimate Earnings On Race Cars, Allegedly Needed To Commit Fraud To Buy A Place To Keep Them
And that place was an airplane hangar, of course.
Do None Of The Ps In ‘PPP’ Stand For Ponzi?
How about “personal trading accounts”? “Poor performance”? No?
Please Please Please Make Warren v. Cooperman Happen Even If I Can’t Be There
It’s the best possible birthday present the universe could give me under the circumstances.
David Einhorn Makes It Through Quarterly Letter About ‘Breaking Markets’ Without Mentioning SPACs
Maybe because the SPAC cops are the only regulators left on a beat.
Melvin Capital Needs No Historic Short Squeeze To Lose A Bunch Of Money
Gabe Plotkin’s comeback proves short-lived, much to Steve Cohen and Ken Griffin’s chagrin.
Dan Loeb Is Popping Bubbles And Loving It
But not as much as Lee Ainslie is loving the great comeback stories of our time.
![By Beyond My Ken (Own work) [GFDL or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MjEzNTUxMDQ0NTcy/foleysquare.jpg)
Seems ‘Insider Trader’ Was A Bit Too Harsh A Description For Two Hedge Fund Managers
You know, when prosecutors really look at it.
Former CFO Of Badly-Run Company To Become CEO Of Badly-Run Company Hunter
Carl Icahn needs someone who can smell bad governance and also tolerate 99% humidity.
Steve Cohen’s Mets Sign All-Star To Three-Quarters-Of-A-Billion-Dollar Deal, Are Still The Mets
Today is not Opening Day for one of the local nine. Tomorrow, either.
If You’ve Literally Written Checks Filled With Client Money To Yourself, It’s Probably Best To Come Up With A Different Defense Against The Ensuing Fraud Charges Than A Pearl-Clutching ‘I Had No Idea’
We’re not saying that Sean Hvizdzak did that. But the SEC is.
Degenerates Kicking Hedge Fund They Pushed To The Floor While It’s Down
The hits keep coming for Gabe Plotkin.
Practiced Court Witness Crispin Odey Can’t Save Colleagues From Unpleasant Tax Bill
It seems you do have to pay taxes on your bonus, even if they were deferred to satisfy some other meddling regulator.
Craig Carton Back To Work, Allegedly Back To Not Paying His Bills
Ol’ Craigey might need a new hedge fund sucker to get him out of this jam.
Does Anyone Recognize The Guy With The Dark Sunglasses And Fake-Looking Mustache?
Hedge fund insider trading goes old school. Literally.
Paul Singer Protégé Prepared To Spit Hot Activist Fire All Over Europe
Franck Tuil’s well rested and ready to feast on the bloated, COVID-ravage corporate lepers of the continent.
SALTing The Earth: Hedge Fund Party Moves To Desolate, Deserted Manhattan
Anthony Scaramucci’s gonna fix the place right up, just like he did for the White House Communications Office.
It’s Probably Best To Use The Same Address On Your Tax Returns, SEC Filings
Failure to do so can lead to some uncomfortable, $105 million questions.
Hedge Fund May Have Cut Itself A Nice Little Deal With Yale’s Money
If you screw with David Swensen, you’d better not get caught.
The Mnuchins Aren’t Counting On ‘Me You Madness’ To Keep Them Afloat
The former Treasury secretary has become quite acclimated to the swamp.
Ray Dalio Makes Himself Vice President Of The Bridgewater Senate
Ties are broken by the most Principled among them.
Did Izzy Englander Earn $2.2 Billion Last Year, Or $3.8 Billion?
Depends on whose fuzzy math you’re buying.
Quibi’s Most Compelling Content Ever Is A Posthumous Legal Brief About Paul Singer’s Lovelife
The short-form failure would prefer to discuss what favors the hedge fund manager may be doing to whether it stole its signature technology.
How Many Shoes, Handbags Can $3 Billion Buy? Stephanie Erklentz Coleman May Be Tring To Find Out
It was a good year for Tiger Global’s Chase Coleman, which means it was a good year makers and sellers of designer goods, as well.
It Sure Is A Good Thing Gabe Plotkin Made $846 Million Last Year
It’s good to be able to afford to lose $460 million on a Reddit-driven short squeeze if, in fact, you are going to lose $460 million on a Reddit-driven short-squeeze.
New York Lawmakers Want To Take Paul Singer’s Toys Away
If they get their way, no one will have the kind of fun Elliott had with Argentina.
Citadel Securities, Accused Of Rigging Markets, Accuses Someone Else Of Rigging Markets
Your purported friends are IEX are not actually your friends, dear retail investors, sayeth Ken Griffin.
![By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkyNjg0Mjc3/gavel.jpg)
Former Hedge Fund Manager Self-Fulfills Prison Prophecy
Dan Kamensky may go from predicting jailtime to getting it in less than a year.
Not-At-All-Busy Apollo Global Gets To Try To Explain How It Didn’t Screw Phil Falcone Over In 2010
Turns out you can’t just reopen a bankruptcy you had nothing to do with because it would be convenient.
Who’d Like To Help Steve Cohen Out With His Little Liquidity Problem?
The Big Guy’s got some anger to take out on the markets with your money.
Leave Steve Cohen Alone You Monsters
The Big Guy’s Twitter account was just about the only good thing to come out of 2020 and now you’ve ruined it.
Andrew Left Embraces His Inner Millennial
Short selling is out. Helping Redditors ride rocket stonks to the moon is in.
Hedge Fund Billionaires Take Break From Losing Money On GameStop, Figuring Out Why To Beef On Twitter, TV
Steve Cohen wants everyone to “chile” out.
SEC Monitoring GameStop Frenzy With Eye Towards Doing Nothing
Letting the Redditors have their fun seems to be a bipartisan point of agreement, which is great, because it probably can’t be stopped.
Ken Griffin, Steve Cohen Not Enjoying This Game. Stop.
This is getting very expensive, very, very quickly.
Global Pandemic Compels Accused Fraudster To Decline Invitation To Trial In Country He Can’t Be Extradited To
Your Honor, Florian Homm has a doctor’s note and Article 16 of the German constitution.