Hedge Funds

As far as Richard Deitz is concerned, there’s not point in having the Ukrainians defeat the Russians if he can’t have his money back now.

And regret even more to acknowledge it’s got about as much chance as every other bid to kill it.

Because that’s about all his former employees have left in absence of their deferred comp.

Being unable to buy a second Illinois governor proves too much for Florida’s newly-minted third-richest man.

And relocated to bucolic, barbed-wired surroundings.

Bank of America, Citibank move to reduce future block-trading fines.

All Chicago needs to do to keep Ken & co. is change everything about itself right away.

CFTC whistling nervously.

Because the SEC and Justice Department? Yea, they’re gonna come back.

Of course all agree that the real bad guys were the Allianz employees Allianz singularly failed to supervise.

Well, inflation and a lavish renovation of her new house.

And the New York Mets are all the better for it.

And there’s also more about his package.

Six months’ suspension for six months in jail, apparently.

But the Archegos chief believed in himself until the very end.

Dov Charney’s courtroom calamities continue.

Which is bad news for Bill Hwang and the Archegos crew.

Actually, yea, that was a really stupid idea. Totally. Just, like, forget about it and stuff.

And he’d like the people half of whose money he’s lost to pay for it.

Then its elderly investors would be fine. As it happens, however….

The judge says: “12 years in jail.”

Preferably, before he retires this summer, even.

Investors with either of them are still in the red, but only one is still stockpiling scarlet ink.

But thanks for the soccer team, he guesses.

And now that he’s looking at Kroger, he sees something else he doesn’t like.

You won’t be seeing any future Herbalife-like crusades from Pershing Square anymore.

And it’s not afraid to go to Canada to find it.

Who’s willing to do what it takes to buy a marquee team from a disgraced Russian oligarch?

A good old-fashioned tenure fight.

It’s when bragging about it becomes Exhibit A.

Third Point was ice cold in January.

For one, she worked at Goldman Sachs. For another, she is a woman.

To mark the one-year anniversary of his humiliation, the Melvin Capital chief is launching the “I’ve Lost My Nerve” Fund.

Andreas Halvorsen is convinced this year is the one travel goes berserker. You know, just like he was last year.