Private Equity

We’re not quite at “You can’t handle the truth!” yet but we’re getting there.

Allegedly. What I can tell you from on-the-ground reporting is that it is also very, very hot in a literal sense.

GPB Capital needs cash and if (alleged) Ponzi schemes are out, an auto-dealership fire sale will have to do.

What are “best friends” for, after all?

His generosity is definitely not about covering up rape.

And make a small fortune while you’re at it.

You needn’t so much as leave your heart in San Francisco to keep getting paid.

Now, they share an experience of legal trouble around their exploits.

No sir, still nothing to see here.

The first time wasn’t voluntary, but the lawsuit against Netflix very much is.

And Jay Clayton gets to be called “Mr. Chairman” again.

Moral: It’s best not to get Oaktree’s Ken Liang angry.

It doesn’t sound like Merrick Garland is looking as kindly on the GPB boys as Bill Barr.

Aiming for bankruptcy court, the private equity giant finds itself in Indiana civil court.

It’s a surprisingly tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Because in addition to “unemployed,” he can also now call himself “whistleblower.”

He did do twice as much not wrong as previously reported, and is almost 70, so…

His obituary will now include lines like, “providing aid and comfort to an insurrectionist” and, maybe, “man whose odiousness inspired the legislative dismantling of the private equity industry.”

And they’ve seen him rap and eat.

It could have happened to any political leader or captain of industry, if you think about it.

And there’s no end in sight to the torrents of Epstein-related ink.

Definitely nothing to worry about, dear limited partners!

Like having to send this regretful letter to clients, assuring that he never lied to them about Jeffrey Epstein.

The greatest financial performance artist in history has settled for the easy and derivative.

It’s measured in eight figures.

That’ll teach’em.

Denise George has some questions (and document requests) for the billionaire.

The latest monument to her hubris comes (of course) in lawsuit form.

That’s the gist of it, anyway, when you cut through the legalese.

Private equity guys, you’re on notice from a guy with one foot out the door. Or not.

Carl Icahn and Tom Barrack are taking different roles in their own versions of “The Apprentice.”

Blackstone owns everyone's favorite feminist dating app...and that's quite the sentence.

Maybe soulmates do exist!

One solitary slide in the WeWork autopsy report to SoftBank investors is a true encapsulation of the artist's soul.