Good News, Single Ladies, Steve Schwarzman Owns Bumble Now
Blackstone owns everyone's favorite feminist dating app...and that's quite the sentence.
Private Equity
Masa Son's Masterwork Is A PowerPoint Presentation About WeWork That Will One Day Hang In The Louvre
One solitary slide in the WeWork autopsy report to SoftBank investors is a true encapsulation of the artist's soul.
Help Paul Singer Achieve Great And Terrible Things
All he needs is an extra $4 billion on top of the $2 billion he just raised.
Who Told Henry Kravis This I-Banking Thing Was A Good Idea?
Whoever it was should probably be polishing their resume, once the security guards finish escorting them out.
Mr. Chelsea Clinton Tries Changing His Luck By Doing His Last Job Backwards
Marc Mezvinsky is a TPG man now (for now).
The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy
Seeing a hypothetical $40 billion go up in allegorical smoke is having an impact on the greatest living performance artist in finance.
![By Lishabai Yi (Middle Kingdom Media Ltd.) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3Mjk2NzY1OTcwMzk2/schwarzman.jpg)
Steve Schwarzman ‘Incredibly Proud’ Of ‘Vital Role’ That’s Earned Him $17 Billion
That’s five times as much as Leon Cooperman, by the way.
Frankenstein Reportedly Nearing Deal To Rescue His Monster At A Sub-$8 Billion Valuation
SoftBank is ready to admit that it needs WeWork to survive.
Six People Who Managed Not To Get Fire By Henry Kravis Now Taking Over For Henry Kravis
It takes a half-dozen men what it once took only one Kravis and one Roberts to do.
WeWork Asking Jamie Dimon "Why Stop Now, Baby?"
What's left of We is hoping JPM will pony up $2 billion to keep the kombucha taps running, but that would almost certainly come with Dimon-strenght strings attached.
WeWork About To Get Hammered For Finally Acting Like An Adult
Officially pulling the IPO is going to hurt, but it's time for pain at We.
Henry Kravis Started An I-Bank Because He Can Do Everything Better Than You
KKR is starting to steal back all of those BS fees it paid in decades past.
Adam Neumann Is Going To Need A New Workspace
Masa Son controls the WeWork board, and the guy who founded the company is about to see what that means.
Steve Schwarzman Thinks The Lobster At Claridge’s Is Pretty Good
Socialism? Higher taxes? Not so much.
SoftBank And WeWork Have Some Kinky Thing Going And It's Weird To Watch
Get a room, you guys...WeKnow a place that charges by the month.
![By Carl Lender from Sunrise, USA (Real Estate) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MjIxODcyMjgxNTY0/emptyoffice.jpg)
Blackstone’s Not Saying There’s A Recession Right Around The Corner
But they’ll have the money to buy your office building/warehouse/retail location if it happens.
WeWork Now Offering IPO Investors A 50% Discount On Pretending That WeWork Is A Real Company
Adam Neumann is experimenting with quasi-realistic thinking.
Masa Son Is Down $600 Million On His Uber Investment, Because Art Is Pain
This is all part of the show, you philistines.
Masayoshi Son Turning To Some Different Patrons For His New Piece Of Financial Performance Art
With the Saudis taking a pass, the deKooning of money turns to Goldman Sachs for funding of his new work.
Robinhood Is Worth $7.6 Billion Now, And All It Had To Do Was Sell Its Soul
Can you still be the anti-Wall Street app when you've come to epitomize The New Wall Street?
Famously Judgment-Free David Bonderman Buys Famously Judgment-Free Gym Chain
TPG adds to its feel-good portfolio.
Steve Schwarzman Takes His Money Where It Is Appreciated
Who needs Abington High School when you’ve got Oxford, guv’nor?
Leon Black Creates Unstoppable Photo-Sharing Site For 2009 In 2019
Your mom now have one fewer place to go to print her vacation books.
As A Public Company, WeWork Almost Promises To Be More Careful About Who Gives It Money Than It Was As A Private Company
Adam Neumann wants you to know that he understands how it looks to take money from The Saudis and will maybe stop now that you're watching.
Henry Kravis Looks Forward To Firing First Sandal-Clad Employee
Dress up, dress down, just don’t let the big guy find an office door without a suit hanging from it.
Masa Son Finding Out That Absurdly Big Numbers Aren't Always Fun
After Uber IPO disappoints, SoftBank looking to make it all back on the can't miss WeWork IPO.
John Childs Charged With Allegedly Taking His Love Of Leverage Way Too Far
Another Boston bIllionaire busted in Florida prostitution sting.
Private Equity Firm Acting Like A Private Equity Firm
The Blackstone Group will take your money and then the dividends that could be used to pay you back.
Guggenheim CEO Not Enjoying The Dodgers’ First Pennant In 30 Years
Nor any longer the company of his global head of internal distribution/house guest.
Henry Kravis Doesn’t Need Partners, But Would Like More Money
KKR is paving the way in bricks of newfound gold.
Carlyle Group Pretty Pleased It’s Not The Vanguard Group
Especially since its investors seem just as pleased, for some reason.
$25 Million Doesn’t Go As Far At A Public High School As it Does At Yale
The ungrateful upper-middle class of suburban Philadelphia will not bow to new liege lord Steve Schwarzman.
![By Medill DC (Geithner) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTIzODkzMDExOTU3/geithner.jpg)
Tim Geithner Would Be Laughed Out Of A Trump Cabinet Meeting
And not just because of his face.
Anyone Not Named Steve Schwarzman Or Jon Gray Best Not Get Too Comfortable At Blackstone
The “S” in GSO Capital Partners is taking his leave.
Don't Look Now But Lynn Tilton Is "Bankrupt"
Amidst the deafening din of Trumpian chaos, Lynn whispers "I'm broke."
Plucky Private Equity Firm Sells Some Property For Pocket Change
Steve Schwarzman just moved a skyscraper for $640 million to get the week started off right.
Warren Buffett Has Become So Good At Investing That He Doesn't Need To Know What He Owns, Who Bought It, Or Even Why
The Oracle is holding it down and he don't care who knows it.
Steve Schwarzman Should Really Avoid Talking About "The Real World"
TFW you are the platonic ideal of the sheltered wealthy elite.
Has Your Kid’s High School Produced A Billionaire?
In Donald Trump's America, every public school needs its own Steve Schwarzman.
Area Senior Gripes That Dumb Kids Experimenting With Derivatives Will End In Tears
Uncle Carl is feeling the "rumbling" of an imminent market earthquake.
Everyone Can Relax, Steve Schwarzman Made Money Last Year
The tax cuts he helped to create are definitely going to help him hold on to a lot of the $1 billion he pulled down last year.
Surprise! Private Equity Industry Will Make Money On Allegedly Unfavorable Tax Plan
Debunking the hot take that Steve Schwarzman’s Trump whispering had failed.
Blackstone's Hedge Fund Business Just Got Younger, And Apparently More Fastidious?
Steve Schwarzman gives the weirdest compliments.
The Wall Street Lobby Just Got Taken To School By The Private Equity Lobby
What are you guys even paying for?
![By Web Summit [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTQ5MzY0NzE3NTMy/davidbonderman2.jpg)
Rich Old White Guy Goes Where Rich Old White Guys Can Just Be Rich Old White Guys
What do you get the billionaire private-equity honcho who’s got everything? A hockey team!
Fidelity Subtly Hedging On Uber By Very Publicly Investing In Uber's Hated Archenemy
Someone is smirking under their pink mustache.