Cryptocurrencies
Dogecoin Has At Last Become Genuinely Funny
Now that the meme-based cryptocurrency is not much of a joke anymore, it’s finally a funny one.
If You Believe Walmart Is About To Begin Accepting Litecoin, Well, I’ve Got Some, Uh, Litecoin To Sell You
The old is new again and again and again. And Steve Cohen and Cathie Wood want more of it.
![By Jdarsie11 [CC BY-SA 4.0 ], from Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NzMxMDkzODE3MzA4/mooch.jpg)
The Mooch Has Big, Fake Things To Announce As His Less-Big-Than-Usual Party
The highlight of this year’s SALT conference make by Skybridge’s latest attempt to lose money in crypto.
![By US government [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NjkyNDM5MzczMzAx/gensler.jpg)
Gary Gensler Stands Astride History Yelling Stop
Actually, he’s not saying anything. Just suing.
Gensler’s March On Crypto Underway As SEC Charges Lending Platform For $2 Billion Fraud
Look, when Gary Gensler took his seat at the head of the SEC earlier this year, we were promised something a little different.
Cryptos Want Direct Access To Worthless Thing They Wish To Destroy
John Paulson, for his part, thinks a different thing will be worthless.
Decentralized Finance Not Nearly Decentralized Enough To Escape Gary Gensler’s Notice
In fact, he thinks it looks downright regulatable.
![By Mike Cauldwell (https://www.casascius.com/photos.aspx) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE1NTcxOTA2MDM3/bitcoins.jpg)
Fake Currency Purveyors Hoarding Lots Of Very Real Cash
Tether sees Coinbase’s $4 billion and raises it $63 billion.
All It Took For Congress To Notice Cryptos Was Giant Bill For Roads, Rail, Broadband To Facilitate More Crypto Mining
What the Hill giveth, it taketh away via the IRS.
Stablecoins May Not Be Stable, But They Might Be Criminal
Just like all other cryptocurrencies.
Bankrupt Crypto Platform Says Its Only Problem Was Hiring A Guy Who Broke Out Of Jail
The court-appointed examiner is not so sure.
John McAfee (Allegedly) Didn’t Tell Two Interested Parties About His CryptoPromotion Side Hustle
Those parties being the IRS, and the people he was shilling ‘coins to.
As Punishment For Not Taking GameStop Seriously We Now Have To Take Bitcoin Seriously
The karma market’s in full swing.
The Winkelvii Acquired A CryptoKitties-Based Startup Founded By Another Pair Of Identical Twins, And Those Are All Words We Just Typed
Tyler and Cameron are all about The Brothers Cock Foster and their "nifties."
‘Kidney Stones Postponing Charity Lunch Meeting’ The Latest Cryptocurrency Downside Risk
Alleged kidney stones, it unfortunately has to be said.
Donald Trump Is Not A HODLer, Does Not Want A Lambo, Has A Tremendous Amount Of FUD
He probably -- if he's honest -- has the most FUD that anyone has ever had, and his FUD is the most beautiful.
Crypto Traders Also Enjoy Investing In Tesla, Claims Redundant Study
Some solid research here from the Nodoi Institute at The University of Obvious.
Bitcoin Surging So All The Old Mistakes Are New Again
Let's get crypto crunk in 2019!
After Losing The Trust Of Users To Protect Their Data, Facebook Pivots To Just Asking For Their Money Up Front
Meet Libra, the cryptocurrency for people who hate paying attention.
SEC Sues Over ICO That Messaging App CEO Described As "Hail Mary" Cash Grab
A Canadian messaging app notorious for letting minors sext each other selling $100 million in digital currency isn't a securities violation, it's Darwinism.
Robinhood Betting That If Millennials Will Day-Trade Without Knowing Anything About Markets, They Will Probably Buy An Ass-Ton Of Bitcoin At The Top
This could be huge for the Bitcoin-price-powered buttplug market.
Cryptos Crippled By A Healthy Dose Of Oprah Optimism
The Chosen One made us remember "Hope"...and destroyed the alt-coin market.
SEC Calmly Reminds Investors Not To Come Crying When They Lose Their Shirts Betting On Crypto Nonsense
Jay Clayton must be having a fun first year on the job.
To Avoid Wildly Overvalued Tech Ventures, Peter Thiel Invests In Bitcoin
The latest Founders Fund is off to a rather auspicious start.
Buttplugs And Goldman Sachs Killed The Bitcoin Rally
But were they working in cahoots.
Time To Grow Up, Stop Buying Bitcoin, And Let These Ex-Goldmanites Charge You One-And-Ten To Manage A Crypto Index On Your Behalf
It's the only responsible thing to do.
Long Bitcoin Is The New Long Bitcoin
BAML tells us fund managers are fighting a losing battle against crypto envy.
Why Even Try Anymore
Annoucning Dealbreaker's pivot to blockchain services provider for the twenty-first century.
Bitcoin Is Gold 2.0, Says Guy Unaware Of How Shitty Gold 1.0 Is
The Winklevii have a new pitch.
Having Deliberated For Months On The Topic, Big Banks Decide Bitcoin Futures Are Dumb As Hell
Wall Street doesn't want to foot the bill when you can't make your crypto margin call.
Ethereum, The Crypto Network That Will Transform Everything, Struggles To Handle Digital Beanie Babies
Soon everything will be CryptoKitties.
The SEC's Lowest-Hanging-Fruit Division Just Busted Its First ICO Scam
PlexCoin, we hardly knew ye.
Go Get Your Blockchain MBA So You Can Get Laid Off From A Crypto I-Bank Instead Of A Real One
It's the most prudent career move.
The ICO World Is Heading For A Very Hard Fork
On selling securities without selling securities.
Bitcoin's Inexorable Rally Interrupted By Fleeting Realization Of Its Utter Inability To Function As A Currency
Thankfully it was a passing phase.
If The ICO Party Comes To An End, At Least We Know Who To Blame
Turns out that if you sell $232 million in digital tokens you actually have to give people those digital tokens.
Jamie Dimon's Self-Imposed Ban On Shit-Talking Bitcoin Lasts Roughly 36 Hours
Why is this still a thing.
Bitcoin Boiler Room Wants YOU
Who would pass up an opportunity to make a guaranteed 2,391 bitcoins a month?
